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Original poster

TTC to tell boss or not??

7 replies

Lou0712 · 04/01/2019 13:55

Hi All,

My Husband and I have been TTC since last October and are in the process of having checks done at a fertility clinic.
However I have just been asked to go abroad for a work trip to a zika risk country...I have no idea how to approach this!

My work know that I have been having hormone related blood tests due to a wayward period so they have probably guessed I am TTC but I don't want to openly tell them this in case it takes me years longer to get pregnant!

My options as I can see it are :

  1. Be honest! Tell them I would rather not go as TTC even though it is in my contract to go at least once a year
  2. Go and do the best I can not to get bitten and then pay for the blood test when I get back or wait 8 weeks before TTC (Hate the thought of waiting when it's taking so long as it is & other medical conditions mean I need to hurry up!)
  3. Plan the trip then nearer the time claim I can't go due to sickness? That would cost them a lot of money though and I would feel awful!
  4. Tell them now that my doctor has told me I can't go at the moment due to other illness I have

All options have big cons in my mind and just not sure what to do! I managed to avoid going in October and was hoping I would be pregnant by the time the next trip came up but no luck yet!

Anyone else had a similar problem???

OP posts:
ScarletGlow · 04/01/2019 14:22

You say it's in your contract to go once a year - realistically what will happen if you don't go? Just a warning? Or will it seriously set you back in your ability to do your job?

If you're not going to get fired, then I'd say don't go on the trip - TTC is going to have a more importance in your life in the long term. Which reason you give is up to you, but it's probably best not to lie about it.

Original poster
Lou0712 · 04/01/2019 14:26

I definitely wouldn't get fired but I think it would go down badly me saying I can't do that part of my job indefinitely.
Another one of my colleagues would need to go in my place and it is my customer so it is not very good me not being there as I am the only one who knows the account.

You are right though TTC is definitely more important. I actually want to leave this job but feel trapped at the moment due to TTC and the possibility of having no maternity cover if I fall pregnant during the switch over of jobs!
So it's not like I am going to lose my dream career over it if it did all end badly...

Thanks for your reply!

OP posts:
MumMumMum1 · 04/01/2019 16:07
  1. Tell them now that my doctor has told me I can't go at the moment due to other illness I have

I’d go for that option, they can’t be pissed off at you for that, or punish you. Just say you’re reallt sorry & if pushed further tell your boss only. No one else needs to know the ins & outs.

burgerlady · 04/01/2019 19:59

If I was you I'd agree to go - and if you end up pregnant then you have every right to cancel on medical grounds. But it's hard to justify not going if you aren't yet pregnant. And eight weeks on your return is only two cycles to miss - it could be nice to give yourself a break from ttc.

I've been ttc for over two years and have had three miscarriages; your journey could be long like mine. You can't put your life on hold. Plus, what if your colleague who has to go in your place is also pregnant/ttc and you put them in a difficult position. Men are advised to wait six months after returning from a zika region, so it could actually have an even bigger impact if your replacement is male and ttc.

Sorry you are in a difficult position with this, and all the best for your fertility investigations.

Original poster
Lou0712 · 10/01/2019 16:11

Sorry, I didn't get notifications so wasn't aware anyone else had replied.

Thanks for your opinions. I am still undecided on what to do!

@burgerlady - yes, this is why I am worried.....I think I should just go as I know it could be a long time until I get pregnant and I can't keep putting off the trips.
However, what makes it hard is my cycles have been anywhere from 38-90 days up until the last 2 which have both been 37/38 days . So firstly, I feel like I am actually "working properly" now since coming off the pill and I want to get trying and secondly, if my cycles go back to being sporadic I don't want to have to miss a chance if I ovulate in those 2 months when I am back!

I think I am feeling the pressure more as I have endometriosis (amongst other things) & my gynae told me I am on a ticking clock as with every cycle off the pill and not pregnant, the endometriosis gets worse. He said it's a race between getting pregnant and my endo getting bad!

I think what I might do is try to put the client off booking until end of the month and speak to the fertility doctor and see what they advise!

Thanks everyone

OP posts:
Original poster
Lou0712 · 11/01/2019 13:57

I forgot to say...there are only 5 people in my company and all have grown up children so I would not be putting a colleague at risk if they were to go in my place

OP posts:
RedKite89 · 11/01/2019 16:46

I’d suggest you take legal/union advice around the equality act before speaking to work so you know where you’d stand if you were pregnant when you were expected to go

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