Want to start TTC but I'm a bridesmaid

[Hopingtottc]

Hi all, I'm a long time lurker but never posted but I just need some outside advice.

My best friend is getting married Aug next year in Ireland and I have just gotten married in November - she was my bridesmaid and I am hers. Before my wedding, She asked me to wait to TTC until later as she didn't want me to be unable to fly to her wedding (not that she had a problem with me being pregnant in general). I didn't know what to say and at the time it wasn't on my mind but in the last few months I would really like to start trying and I'm worried that if I was to fall quickly then I would be 8 months and unable to fly and I would have ruined my friendship with her.

The reasons I don't want to hold off are I've been on the pill and I know it can take a few months to get back to normal and ovulate at all but also (and mainly) because I had long term undiagnosed chlamydia (2 years) and I am unsure if I can even have more children and don't really want to waste more time.

I'm torn between what I feel is right for my family (I already have a 7 year old) and doing what's right for my friend, I'd be gutted if I waited and it turned out there was a problem and we could have started earlier so we could have tests etc done but also I know there is a small chance of falling pregnant immediately!

I just genuinely need some outside opinions - I've only spoken to my mum and she says it's unfair for my friend to ask me to wait but I know she would also love more grandchildren so maybe she is biased!

Thanks in advance

Come off your pill and let it come out of your system and let your cycles start settling down. I got pregnant within 3 months of stopping mine luckily but it could take you longer, you just never know.

It's fine to travel by ferry but depending on where you live and how pregnant you are the drive to the ferry could be uncomfortable. We get the ferry back to Ireland at least 2 times a year but I wouldn't have made the 7 hour drive past about 34 weeks pregnant. The frequent need to wee and general discomfort wouldn't make it the best journey.

Personally I wouldn't worry about it until you're actually pregnant!

This is a tricky one, and while a lot on here always argue that you should never wait, I think in your circumstances I would as it would only be for a couple more months and I’m sure it would mean the world to your friend for you to be her bridesmaid as she was yours.

If you start trying in Feb you should still be safe to fly in August and 8 weeks is nothing really. If she was a good friend I would hold off

ALSO most of the other pregnant bridesmaid threads involve the bride not wanting the bridesmaid to be pregnant at all, whereas your friend sounds like she just wants you there, pregnant or not x

Speaking from someone who has also spent all of 2018 either being pregnant (3 times), losing 2 babies or trying to get pregnant, I personally would not wait as you are ready. You cannot predict anything.

Don't worry about the lack of NHS just have good travel insurance. Part of my job is flying babies/children back to the UK if they are born premature or get sick abroad. Honestly I wouldn't wait. I'm a MOH in June, I started TTC 7 months ago. I was worried I could be heavily pregnant at the wedding. Given I've not had a whiff of a positive in 7 months I'm glad I didn't wait!!!

I personally would leave it a few months to ttc and pull out of being a bridesmaid now and attend as a guest instead. You never know how long it will take or what might happen if you do fall pregnant.

It will be less stress for both of you and no issues then with dresses/ shoes not fitting

Flying limit is 36 weeks for single pregnancy or 32 weeks for twins and multiples - think that would work out ok even if you got pregnant straight away.
(GP)