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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Is it worth TTC at 39+?

48 replies

Onlyinanemergency · 15/12/2018 09:30

I already have 2 DC and always pictured myself having another. I didn't have my first until 35 however and breastfeeding has meant my periods have been largely absent. My period returned this month which has got me thinking about TTC but I will be 40 in a few months. Reading online has left me feeling my odds of actually getting and staying pregnant are very slim. Not sure if I should just give up on the dream!

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FraterculaArctica · 15/12/2018 09:32

Following as in the same position though a year older. I think I will go for it if DH agrees!

howonearthdoyoucopewith3 · 15/12/2018 09:36

I had no 3 just before I turned 40. I got pregnant in the first month! We were astonished as assumed fertility would have dropped. Worth a shot. A lot of women have an accidental third in their 40s which shows that fertility is there...

Original poster
Onlyinanemergency · 15/12/2018 09:37

My DH is on board but I think he's overly optimistic. The thing that's putting me off is that I got pregnant relatively easily first 2 times. I feel like this time would be really difficult and might involve miscarriage etc - not sure I'm strong enough.

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Original poster
Onlyinanemergency · 15/12/2018 09:38

Thanks howonearth, that gives me hope.

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HSarah · 15/12/2018 09:40

In your position I wouldn't as you already have two children. If I didn't have any then absolutely I would, but I would count my blessings with the children you have. The risks of things going wrong would put me off.

Original poster
Onlyinanemergency · 15/12/2018 09:42

I suppose I'm worried I'd regret not trying but dread the heartbreak of trying and failing!

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TalkingOrmer · 15/12/2018 09:42

I had my first (and only) at 41 😊

Original poster
Onlyinanemergency · 15/12/2018 09:52

Did it take a long time to get pregnant Talking?

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FraterculaArctica · 15/12/2018 09:54

I think the risk of things going wrong is to some extent counterbalanced by the opposite argument, if (like me too) you got pregnant and carried to term twice at 35+ , your chances are better than the average 40 year old.

applecatchers36 · 15/12/2018 09:59

Was in the same situation as you had 2 DC in my 30's but wanted one more as a 40 year old, got pregnant first month of trying, healthy pregnancy no different from others, currently cuddling newborn DC3. Would say go for it if you have previously had healthy pregnancies etc.. I don't think it dramatically alters things just because you are a year older!

EverythingNow · 15/12/2018 10:04

I'm 39 and 6wks pregnant with #4. We started ttc just before my 38th birthday and it took us 19 cycles and a loss in April to get this far. Of my other 3, 2 were unplanned and the other took 5-6m of ttc.
Obviously it's too early days to know if any thing is wrong, it's been uneventful so far though. I think you regret what you don't do, I felt better trying unsuccessfully than when we weren't ttc.

Good luck!

impossiblecat · 15/12/2018 10:07

I got pregnant on the first cycle at 38.

All that stuff about your fertility falling off a cliff at 35 is bollox.

Kintan · 15/12/2018 10:20

Why don't you have a fertility MOT type thing. Then at least you will know if you still stand a chance :)

Snowwontbelong · 15/12/2018 10:26

I ttc at 42. Got a bfp on third cycle!! Had ds at 43.

Original poster
Onlyinanemergency · 15/12/2018 10:27

I don't think the NHS are likely to MOT me and I can't do private!

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Original poster
Onlyinanemergency · 15/12/2018 10:28

It's brilliant to hear these success stories. So often it's all scare stories about barren career women you see in the press.

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ItIsChristmasTime · 15/12/2018 10:30

Your chromosome abnormality risk is greater and there are a few maternal higher risks as well but overall, at 39 or 40 (assuming you don’t have unknown fertility issues based on the fact you have two children and are still having periods) I think you will conceive.

I had six pregnancies between 35 and 39 with two of those being miscarriages.

Patienceisvirtuous · 15/12/2018 10:33

I started ttc at 36, fell pregnant quickly but had 3 subsequent mcs. Was 39 when I had DS. Am now on cycle 6 of ttc #2 with 1 early mc after cycle 1. I was 41 yesterday.

It’s hard emotionally but for me, it’s worth the toil to try.

Good luck with whatever you decide x

LupinsNotBluebells · 15/12/2018 10:34

I had one at 33 and another just shy of my 42nd birthday. It does happen - look on Facebook for the Geriatric Mums group ( medical term for mums over 35 not one we'd choose). We weren't expecting our 2nd as I'd read the same stuff as you, 40+ % miscarriage risk etc., but it's worth trying.

Snowwontbelong · 15/12/2018 10:46

Before 44 my GP was more than happy to do blood test checks!!

Original poster
Onlyinanemergency · 15/12/2018 10:48

I'll keep it in mind then Snow. I've not started trying yet so I'd give it a few months and see if my periods are regular etc first. I literally just got my first period in over 2 years this week!

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MrsFamily · 15/12/2018 10:50

I think stats tend to take overall averages which don't, of course, take account of individual fertility. I had my three children at ages 34, 36 and 38, no issues with conceiving or pregnancies. Having also heard that fertility massively drops after age 35, I appreciate we were very lucky.

I wasn't quite expecting to fall pregnant again at the age of 41, but DC4 arrived after a similar experience when I was 42. So I think it varies for individuals.

MrsWooster · 15/12/2018 10:56

Dc1 at 43, dc2 at 46, both on month 4. We're all individuals!

Kintan · 15/12/2018 10:57

My GP was happy to do blood tests OP, it's worth asking. If they say no then no harm done!

Jasquers · 15/12/2018 10:57

I had my second at 38. Have quite a few friends having babies at 40+.