I think I want a third!

[avoschmado]

Tell me all the reasons why practically and rationally this isn't a good idea. Our hearts say yes, our heads say no.

Dd1 is 8, dd2 is 4. Dh and I are 38 and 31 respectively. Have two sets of school fees to pay already, another set would be tight, I had an awful birth with Dd1 and mental health issues after dd2. It's not a good idea is it?

I think only you can decide. I'm expecting my second and plan for this one to be my last. I like the idea of us having enough hands for both, fitting in the car / house comfortably etc. However, I'm one of 3 and love having 2 sisters.

I nearly didn't have a second because I had such a bad birth with my son, however the thing that made my mind up, 'I might regret not having another but wouldn't regret having another '.

Good luck in making your decision xxx

Could you borrow a friend's baby for a day? I have 4 and it is great fun, the kids squabble a lot but are a little crew, the baby is awake a lot but luckily I love babies... BUT the hard days are very very hard and there is very little respite or downtime. There's always at least one person wanting something from you!

Would you be able to change your lives at all? Change of location / job / school? I think when you have more than 2 dcs you need to have some slack - whether that means family who can help out, or a good amount of spare cash, or a parent who can be home or in a more relaxed job.

@Stuckforthefourthtime I'm a teacher at the girls' school so we're all off together 18 weeks of the year which is lovely and means the day to day logistics of school runs etc are covered. My parents live 1mile away and help out a lot.

Space wise, we have 4 bedrooms so would be fine for the first couple of years but then would likely need to move. Yes we'd need a bigger car.

I'm worried the age gap would be too big. Even if I got pregnant instantly, Dd1 would be 9 and dd2 five. I so wish I could go back in time two years and got on with it then.

From a financial view, you've already said that a third would make things tight. How tight? Would you or your family have to give up things if a third came along? What do you all enjoy doing together as a family? Would that have to stop?

It sounds like you're in a good position to have a third. And if you regret not doing it two years ago you might well regret not doing it now in a couple more years. (My only caveat is I'm a third child and my brother (middle child) has never given me for being born...)

*forgiven me

The age gap would have some positives though, as it means they will each have their own lives a bit and that you won't be juggling a toddler and baby. Personally I also think 4 bedrooms is fine. We live in London where most people share - and if for example your youngest two share, then the eldest would be nearly off to university by the time the youngest got near puberty and you could reconfigure rooms.
I always think people overplay the whole needing a bigger car thing. Bigger cars are not necessarily so much more expensive, and we do a lot on public transport. The school fees would be the biggest concern from what you've said earlier. if that can be managed then I'd go for it!