Getting pregnant after two miscarriages

[Mumley]

I'm struggling. I had a miscarriage in Feb 2016 unexpected pregnancy. My Husband wasn't bothered by it or supportive, his brother announced their pregnancy the same week and I found that hard. My husband told me I was selfish and ruining the happiness. He said we couldn't try again. I struggled a lot emotionally with this as I felt like something was missing.
January this year I had a bit of a break down as he wanted to dramatically change our life and I realised I'd never have a baby. He said he wouldn't t try but wouldn't prevent a baby either. I was stupidity hopeful. Nothing happened then June this year I got a positive result I was thrilled. A few weeks later I miscarried again. I was devestated again. My husband again said it wasn't a real baby and wasn't ment to be.
It's been six months since the miscarriage and no pregnancy again. I'm now 38 and feel my time has gone. Every period I feel sad. My husband never mentions babies or conceiving. When talking about the future a baby is never thought of by him. Which all adds to my sadness as I feel I'm the only one grieving and interested in a baby.
I brought it up in conversation last week and he told me I need to except I'm too old and move on from it like ever other women does, miscarriages are common and all women get too old for having babies and I should find an interest instead of being upset about things that never really happened.
I don't know how to do this and feel like my heart as two holes in it and I'll never fill them.
Any advice how I move on.
Thanks for reading

This post made me fill up

Not just from the feelings about losing your precious babies, but the total lack of support you are getting

It's a horrible thing to go through and everyone grieves differently. I hate to think how hard I would have found it going through my miscarriages without this and my heart goes out to you.

If having children is one of the most important things you want to do in life then I honestly think you are with the wrong person

You are not too old but I feel you are so sad. It will be a big step to leave but the right step towards a life you will love, not sadly tolerate

Thank you for replying.

Im so sorry you've had miscarriages too, they are such a painful grief. I hope you've been able to go on to have a gorgeous baby.

I have thought about leaving but it's so hard, I don't have any friends, my family aren't interested in my life and my job pays very little. And if I can't have a successful pregnancy in this relationship, maybe I'm just broken and past it like he said. It's just a very hard reality to except when I hear of others having babies in there forties.

Thank you again for taking the time to reply to me.

Sorry I took a while to come back- been away with work for 2 days

I did have 2 beautiful babies and am grateful every day. Wasn't much different in age to you though, 36

It's not too late, but don't leave it until it is. Your dreams and happiness are too important. You only get one life - it can be scary to just think 'I am going to live it' but you can and you will
Don't settle for something that is already making you feel sad x

Wow. I defined rely couldn't be with a person who showed such little regard for me and my feelings...

I've had two early miscarriages. I am now pregnant (through ivf). I've done a hell of a lot of research in the last three years about fertility etc. At six months of regular intercourse, you're at about 50-60% likely to have conceived. Up to 80% will have conceived at 12 months of regular intercourses (every 2-3 days). It can take even longer the older you are. So what I'm saying is that 6 months of ttc is NOT evidence of any problem or lack of being able to carry a baby.

Up to 10% of women will experience two miscarriages in a row. I say this to make you not feel so alone.

I would strenuously recommend counselling (I had some and found it helpful) either alone or with your husband. Communication seems an issue and it may give you a safe space to talk.

It may feel like your family isnt interested, but that might be because your self esteem is very low. Reach out to someone - sister, cousin, aunt, mother. It may be that someone in your family wants to help too. Just ask meet up for a cup of tea and a catch up - it doesn't have to be serious and all about this. It could be gently introduced how low you are feeling over a series of meet-ups.

Another source of support could be your gp.

Honestly, from what you've said it sounds as though your husband is a bit emotionally abusive. You need help in order to stop that (which might involve getting away from him).