TTC and suddenly anxious! Anyone else?

[thosethreewords]

I've recently had my mirena coil out and TTC#1.

Background: we're married, together 10 years, in our late twenties/ early thirties, have professional and well paying jobs, savings, own our house, reliable cars, a dog, great friends and very good relationships with our families. I'm not trying to be braggy, but to pain the picture...We're in a good spot.

DH has been keen to try for a few years but understanding that I wanted to get ahead in my career first.

Now that we're trying (which I've been excited for "in theory", for months), I feel a bit overwhelmed.

How will this change us? Will I manage to keep my identity? Will I feel cut off from dear friends who don't have kids? How will I cope without being physically close to family? (I know a few close friends who have babies but they have lots of help from their ILs or parents). Will I hate baby groups? Will I be able to be fit again?

I don't often suffer with overthinking or anxiety, but I feel this way currently if I stop and let myself ruminate about it. Don't get me wrong... I'm also excited, and enjoy discussing it with DH too. He's well aware of how I feel, but he's always been the more laid back one so thinks "we'll be fine" (not in a dismissive way).

Sorry for the essay, but can anyone empathise with this?

It kind of sounds like you're not ready yet IMO. Do you have any broody feelings or do you just think that you're at the "correct" age to have a baby?

As for How will this change us? Well, honestly, TTC is the hardest thing I've gone through in my relationship. At the first couple of cycles being fun and exciting it's turned sex into a chore.

Thanks for your reply!

I don't think it's just that it's the "correct age" for us to have kids. Every time I meet kids through work, I love interacting with them and it makes me imagine how fun it will be to have kids.

I think I just have the personality where I like to plan and this is something that is sort of unknown and I can't plan where, how, or what will happen. The uncertainty; I think that's a big part of it.

Hi.
I am in my late 20s with a small child.
We are in a similar situation to yourselves re: careers / house / family etc .

If you are lucky enough to become a parent you will be fine. Yes, it's a major adjustment. You might not have time for many of your current friends without children. I don't see much of mine anymore. Your relationship with hubby may change but this could bring you closer together than ever. It's a journey and it's very exciting, lots of fun things ahead.

I know for me, my priorities completely changed, my friendships changed, everyday life was turned upside down! But I knew I wanted to be a mother. And there isn't always a 'later .. in a few years' option for everyone.

Good luck on your journey, whatever you decide.

@90mammasophie thank you for your reply. I think you are right that my priorities will change naturally, and all of this worrying will seem probably a bit ridiculous in the future if we are blessed with children.

I really would love to talk to my friends who have had children about this, but I don't want to tell people we are TTC in case it doesn't happen/ takes ages.

I do think my main concern is isolation; I thrive off seeing people, and I need it for my mental wellbeing. Which is why I'm concerned about friends/ family/ groups. I want to have a realistic expectation of how/ if I can do these things.

Your actually right to be worried about isolation. A lot of mums feel very isolated at the beginning, once dad has gone back to work. I'd recommend joining NCT, the group will all have babies born at the same time and a lot of people form a v close bond with their group. There's loads of NCT meet ups around here (north London) practically every day. I'd recommend joining baby classes to meet other mums - baby sensory, library lullabies, etc. I've actually found we have had such a busy schedule due to the routine of having to get out the house twice per day to tire baby out. It's never ending play dates, cafe & cake, baby classes. It's a fantastic opportunity to meet lots of people. Probably the people who will become 'family friends' for your little one & you'll keep close for years to come. It's a very special time.

Thank you so much this has reassured me I will look into those classes if I'm fortunate enough to be pregnant x