Never saw myself posting on here 🤷🏽‍♀️

[RoseReed]

Hello everyone,

So I never thought I’d find myself posting on here, but here’s my story.
My husband and I started TTC in October, after a month, no period and lots of negative pregnancy tests I assumed after 10 years of being on contraception my body was getting used to things.
7 weeks of trying and long story short I’m taken A&E with suspected appendicitis, they test urine = not pregnant, one hour and I’m called back in = pregnant with potential ectopic pregnancy.
Long story again cut short three days later I miscarry with no confirmation if it was ectopic or not.

So why am I posting on here, in just looking for re-assurance I’m not alone in these scenarios. I’m feeling emotionally very wobbly, and starting to feel how can I trust a pregnancy test when my bloods had 960HCG levels 🤷🏽‍♀️ And when’s the right time to start trying again ... unfortunately the early pregnancy unit were as soon as I misscaried, unhelpful and unsupportive.
Thanks everyone for any similar situations or advice to make me feel better

A little support please ladies

Hi. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. The not knowing what’s happening is horrible.
I have a similar(ish) story so I know how you’re feeling. I didn’t want to read and run.
Back in 2015 my husband and I were trying for number 2, I got pregnant the first month of trying but then ended up having two consecutive miscarriages, I didn’t have an actual period for about 4 months.
The drs tell you to have another period before trying again, but i think that’s just so they can easily date your next pregnancy.
With my first miscarriage they mentioned ectopic and wanted me to stay in hospital for the night. I refused because I just wanted to be in my own bed with my own surroundings and grieve in my own home. I went back to hospital the next day as requested and they took bloods again and confirmed it was a miscarriage. I don’t remever having much support from the hospital just a leaflet about what to look out for regarding infections. This was an early miscarriage too, I was 6+5 with both miscarriages. The 2nd one I knew what it was so I didn’t even go to hospital.
Anyway, I guess to reassure you, you know that you can get pregnant. Early loss is sadly very common and early pregnancy is a very anxious time! I went on to have a healthy baby after the 2 miscarriages and I’m currently in the very early stages of another pregnancy.
Fingers crossed for you

Early miscarriage is shockingly common (something like up to 50% of first pregnancies) but we don't talk about it as a society is unpleasant.

Self care is hugely important - I'm mostly talking about mental health. Whatever you want to do to make yourself feel ok is fantastic! A walk? A cry into your duvet? Counselling? A trip to the cinema? All totally acceptable.

After the physical effects are done you may feel grief and the huge range of emotions that brings. I did find counselling some months later a bit helpful. I hadn't even realised I felt grief.

Hugs. It's shit.

Thankyou so much @blii, I am trying so hard to think of the positives (such as clearly I’m very fertile as I got pregnant instantly, and we can conceive together) it’s more the emotional rollercoaster, I genuinely would of rather of not known I was pregnant in the first place than know and have it taken away from me. i’m actually not very maternal, so I’m surprised I feel so hurt about the scenario.
Fingers crossed time is a healer, and we will go on to have our family in the future ☺️🤞🏽

Thankyou @physicskate that makes complete sense. I genuinely feel I’ve gone through a rollercoaster of emotions from being shocked I was pregnant, to being excited I was, to the upset of knowing I was losing it. It’s been three weeks now but the thoughts keep circulating in my head.. I agree perhaps speaking to a counsellor would help. Unfortunately I found out my 🐱had cancer the same day of my ectopic news and had to say bye to him a few days later - sometimes life just really tough times at you!

Luckily I am very good at self care, I go to a yoga class every other day and write myself morning gratitude lists.