Did anyone else panic when starting TTC?!

[FairyLightFiend]

We’ve just started “not not trying”, as in we’re not using condoms. We’ve only had unprotected sex a couple of times around my period (when, in theory, I’m not fertile) but I’m already panicking a bit!

I’m mid 30s, we own our house, have a great relationship and we do want a child. My health isn’t great though (long term condition causing pain / tiredness) and my parents are adamant that I shouldn’t have a baby as I won’t be able to cope (they’re not being nasty about it - it’s coming from a good place). I can’t get it out of my head that they might be right. After all, they’re the ones who know what it’s like to have a baby!

Am I panicking because they’re right, or does everyone panic when they first try? It’s pretty counterintuitive after years of trying not to get pregnant!

Hi I think it's very natural to feel a bit apprehensive when first ttc but it's also an exciting time. Creating a life is a scary but beautiful thing and sweetie as long as you and your partner want a baby and you in your own mind and heart feel like you can cope then don't let anyone plant doubt in your mind. Only you know what your capable of, I understand they would be scared for you, that's natural. They're your parents, it's their job to worry. But this is your body, and your teeny weeny little baby your going to bring into the world, and if that's what you want then hun you go for it. And good luck, I hope you get a bfp soon x

Hi @FairyLightFiend. I've actually written about this on the bus threads. I think I go through the whole array of emotions from desperate to have a baby to not being sure and back again every month. It really is a whole new level of feelings!

Have you spoken to your GP and your partner about your worries? Your Dr will hopefully advise you of the medical side, and your partner that he will support you.

Hi @FairyLightFiend

I too have been an anxious mess since we started trying. I also have a medical condition which means I don't absorb nutrients very well, so at first I was worried that could affect the baby. But after taking supplements and having blood tests that showed nutrient levels are fine, I just started worrying about other things that could harm a baby and have pretty much been through the whole list now. I think it just feels like such a big responsibility so you want to be sure everything is right, but life's not like that and you can't control everything. We all live in imperfect situations and if you and partner both want a baby, that's the most important thing.

Wish I could listen to my own advice though and stop worrying!

Thanks everyone. I’m glad to know I’m not alone (well, not that you’re going through it too, but that I’m not mad!).

My DH is really supportive and determined to do everything that he can. My GP (who I don’t see often as there’s nothing much they can do for me) told me to get on with it and pay for help if I needed it. Ridiculous advice when there’s no way that we could afford it. Everyone who has a chronic illness and children says “oh it’s totally doable. My {insert family members here} help out when I need it!” We have NO family near by.

I think it’s the unknown-ness of it that worries me. How will I know if I can cope until I know?

I really appreciate your lovely messages. Truly! Thank you.