Tips on staying positive

[twodogsandcounting]

Hi all,

I'm only in my third cycle of trying so I'm very aware that it's early days and I could have a long journey ahead of me.

How did those of you who didn't conceive straight away (i.e in the first three months) stay positive?

I've always had this irrational fear that I can't have children and with each month that passes that fear becomes more and more real.

Having previously suffered with anxiety I just need some advice on how to keep focused xx

Hello! I can understand that feeling. I found that having other things to look forward to helped. I spent months not planning anything in case I was pregnant. So if I saw a gig I wanted to go to, I'd book it and not try to think ahead.
I also tried to be as proactive as possible. So OPKs, temping, learning all I could about my cycles. Some people find that more stressful but I find it helpful to be as in control as I could.
Speaking to other people in the same boat helped too. It's nice to have others to share the ups and downs with!
Good luck!

Hi! I am on cycle 9 and have definitely struggled with that feeling. I think I realised that until I get pregnant, that nagging negative feeling is going to be there so all I can do is take control of what I can control (like Noseringgirl this makes me feel better), accept and acknowledge my fears and do my best to enjoy the present moment. For me, that involves planning something fun to do each month we are unsuccessful which I won't be able to do when pregnant (this month it will be trying pole dancing lessons although most months it ends up just being an alcoholic drink!). Also, this might not be helpful for everyone but I found it comforting to have a clear contingency plan which I discussed with DH i.e. different things we will try to conceive naturally, how we will save for private IVF if needed (you only get one round on the NHS in our area), adoption being our plan if all else fails. It might look like planning for failure but actually it helps me to be confident that I will become a mum in some way or another at some point.

I have experienced anxiety issues myself and currently work in mental health so I know the power of anxious thoughts and how convincing they can be on top of an already anxiety provoking situation. I have just started reading 'Is your mind fertility friendly?' by Jackie Brown which has a lot of tips on managing difficult feelings during TTC, might be worth a read!