Feeling down fed up of seeing BFN's each cycle

[ashley010]

Just wanted to see if anyone else is feeling this way. I don't feel positive each cycle anymore. Even when I BD during fertile week I instantly feel as if it hasn't worked and so far i've been right.

I had an HSG recently which showed no problems and tubes were clear. I used preseed this month and as always use my opks but still getting BFN's. I know it can take longer with some women than others but just feeling really fed up at the moment. Anyone else struggling as well?

Hi Ashley,

I’m in the exact same boat as you. I use BBT tracking through natural cycles and ovulation sticks. We can do the deed on the exact day of ovulation (through the app and confirmed with ovulation stick) and still each month AF appears.

How long have you beeen TTC?

Hi Morganj28

It's so frustrating isn't it. And it's hard to not let it affect you when you want something so much.

I've been TTC properly for 6 months. I know it doesn't sound long but I've wanted a baby for years (had a M/C two years ago) and finally felt in a position to try this year. Just expected it to happen a lot sooner.

I know they say like 80% of couples will conceive within a year. I guess I didn't realise how disappointing it can get each time AF arrives.

How about you? How long have you been TTC?

I'm only on cycle 3 and I'm already surprised by what a roller coaster TTC is. I had no idea! It's great you know you're all good from your HSG. Has your partner had his sperm tested?

Do you mind if I join in? My partner and I are ttc. It's my first time trying as my son was conceived by rape. I got my hopes up this month, was a week late, negative test but was going to wait another week before testing. Then today I got my period. Luckily I'd finished work early and was home alone when it came and I totally broke down and cried. My eyes are still puffy now! I had No idea I'd feel like this. Thought I would be a "it'll happen when it happens" kind of person but I'm not.

Does this mean I'm not ready? I just want a baby so badly. And I feel like a shit because I'm so lucky to have my 3yo. Ahhhh!

Hi everyone, I posted a similar message to OP recently and just wanted to say that I can relate. I think that with everything else in life, you get it drummed into you that as long as you do everything right, you will achieve your goal. But as we know TTC doesn't work like that. When we started TTC, I was pretty sure in the back of my mind that it would take six months tops. But after hitting 3 months and then 6 months, I was proven wrong and we're now on cycle 9. It's a bitter pill to shallow at times although I try to stay optimistic and work on being patient (which is not my natural state by any means).

@Zootrebilis I don't think we ever fully anticipate how we are going to feel when TTC. I also thought I would be pretty laid back but after a few months, I was anything but! Personally, I don't think your response means that you are not ready- it just means that you really want a baby. Whatever you're feeling and however you respond is okay. Just do what you need to do to look after yourself and don't beat yourself up for how you're feeling- that will just make things worse (I speak from experience!). What is likely to happen is that you'll build up coping mechanisms over time- if you need it- you've only just started and might get pregnant soon.

@purplefig it's hard cos I think everyone expects it to happen straight away. I think that's next on the list going to check all is okay with him. I did use preseed this month which was help with sperm mobility I'm going to test again tomorrow, AF due Monday! Are you in your tww?

Welcome Zootrebilis so sorry you felt so upset I get how upsetting it can be especially when AF is late as we get out hopes up. How long have you been ttc? I definitely don't think it's got anything to do with you not being ready sometimes it can just take longer than others. But goldflakepaint is right it's worth finding coping mechanisms in cycles ahead of you don't get pg straight away. This site helps! It might happen soon though just got to keep positive but I know it's hard at times. Even though this is my first month using it I recommend preseed, I've heard so many good things about it.

Good luck everyone it's nice talking to people that understand. It can be such a rollercoaster at times.

And @goldflakepaint I completely understand about the patient bit. It's so hard especially if like me your not the most patient person. Really hope it happens for you soon, are you in your tww?

Hi,

I tried for 6 months and convinced myself every time I had symptoms then last month I drove myself mad with faint lines that I bought about 10 tests believing everyone had lines went to the drs convinced for them to say negative...

This month I didn't even bother convincing myself or checking my cycle didn't even have sex on ovulation and got a BFP, it will happen when you least expect it 😘 xxxx

In the same boat as you and feeling so sorry for myself at the moment. We have been trying 12 months this cycle and it that like such a landmark that I never wanted or expected us to reach. I have had a few late periods but never any BPF. This month a very unusual period and have had pains in my stomach, but still a BFN when testing.

The thing which has really got to me over the last couple of months is seeing people announcing their newborns and thinking how that could have been us getting ready to celebrate Xmas with our new baby if we'd conceived straight away like I thought we would.

Need to get back into meditating and thinking about trying a therapist as I can feel myself starting to become depressed and know I am starting to isolate myself from friends and family.

I feel the same. Felt like this month was one. AF was even late and then bam she turned up. Feeling really low and don't know how I'm going to pick myself back up

Hi, everyone. I can really relate to the feelings going on. Last week during AF, I felt really hopeless at one point- which was the point when a friend of the family announced her pregnancy on social media. I actually started crying- and then started ranting to my mum about this person not being prepared. Whilst some of that is true, a lot of it was just part of me feeling like it was really unfair and almost unjust. Seems irrational when I look back at it but that was how I felt at the time. Going through this is hard.

@ashley010 Did you POAS today? I am in fertile window at the minute, expecting ovulation soon. I've started temping this month. So in a more hopeful place which is always the case at this point in my cycle. We will see how it goes...

@Emsi00 I love hearing stories like that especially as I am past the six month mark myself, makes me feel more hopeful. Thanks for sharing!

@Greekcatslovesouvlaki Sorry to hear things are hard at the moment. I completely understand about how seeing others with their babies can send you into a spiral of 'what if's?'. It sounds like you have some good ideas regarding self-care and looking after yourself. Try to stay hopeful, half of the people who don't conceive in a year go on to conceive in the next year with no problems. And if you wish, you should be able to go to your GP at this point and enquire about initial tests.

@Sshsecretenclosed Sorry to hear you are feeling so low. Try to be kind to yourself and do the things that help you feel better. We are often stronger than we give ourselves credit for and we find ways to keep going. Sometimes for me, its just about allowing myself to feel crap without trying to push it away or apologise for it because I know that the feeling will pass. And that my feelings are perfectly valid because ttc is a tough process for those of us who have been waiting for our BFP's longer than we expected. I hope you get your BFP soon and feel free to share as much as you like- we are all in the same boat here .

No problem, it will happen but for some annoying reason it's always when you don't expect it and you haven't thought about it, i really hope a BFP surprises you soon! ☺️ I also got told a story from my hairdresser who was told she couldn't have kids and she has twins she was trying for 2 years and lots of dr appointments which found nothing! It will happen when it's ready, I always think if it didn't happen my body wasn't ready to give me a healthy baby! Xx @goldflakepaint