Stupid thoughts...

[PanKate38]

I hope I’ve chosen the right category despite having not actually started ttc yet..

Am I being ridiculous? Would love to know if anyone else has ever experienced this? My partner and I are planning to start trying for a baby after Christmas. Having spent the best part of a decade, longer even, actively and successfully trying NOT to have a baby to suddenly change things up almost feels wreckless haha? Obviously I know somethings got to give. As far as I know miraculous conception hasn’t yet been acheived... It’s almost like safe sex has been so inherently drilled into me that despite wanting to start a family I feel like I am being irresponsible. Has anybody else ever had these feelings? Is my brain broken haha? Would love some reassurance. I keep telling myself I’m a 28 year old adult, I’m allowed to make this decision lol, so why does it feel like I’m planning to do something I might get in trouble for

I struggled with this for a while too. DH and I have been together since we were teenagers, so we spent the first portion of our relationship terrified at the idea of pregnancy and what our parents would say. We're now both in our mid-twenties and it's strange looking back, realising at some point we reached a stage where our parents would be happy for us (rather than worried for us).

DH and I have been actively TTC for 3 months now and I still worry that any future pregnancy announcement will be met with concerned faces and the opinion we can't handle it or we're not ready.

I think it just takes a while to adjust after you've been thinking a certain way for years.

Not stupid AT ALL! I've been with my partner for 6 years, and only in the last half a year we've been thinking about taking that step beginning of next year too. I was all about career and didn't want to think about having children. Now that we have achieved a lot in our lives we've been chatting about TTC next year. Never really thought I'd be in this position. So yeah, it hits you when you least expect it, and when the time is right

This is exactly my situation! We were 17 when we started our relationship. I’ve gone from having my mum terrified I would have a child too young to literally flipping since I turned 28 and I’m now apparently almost past it and I’m being irresponsible that I haven’t started trying yet haha. Can’t win. We’re now getting pressure from both sides to start a family but I’m finding it difficult to change my mind set after being probably over cautious. Think I just need to bite the bullet and go for it. I think it’s also partly that I’m not at the point I thought I would be at this stage of my life (career wise, owning our own home etc) it’s nice to know that at least one person has felt this too though.

Wishing you lots of luck

Oh god haha. I wish I could say the same. Well done to you (caramelcluster) ! Maybe I am being irresponsible? I just feel like despite the things I’m probably not very secure in I’m definitely secure in my relationship so hopefully that’s enough.

You're not being ridiculous to feel the way you are and you're definitely not irresponsible for trying.
No one is ever truly ready for a baby. Like you said, your relationship is stable, everything else will fall into place 😊 good luck ttc xx

i had my first baby at 15 (unplanned, obviously) and then got pregnant again accidentally at 21. we also have a 10 day old baby that was planned and i felt exactly the same as you the whole time we were trying. i felt sick when i told my mum despite the fact that the baby was very much planned!

I am so thankful for this post...This is exactly how i feel, We got together in our teens so we very much had our parents drilling it into us about have silly having children was so we were always extra careful, Now we have trying i also feel like im going to get in trouble but i know deep down they all know were ready, I think part of it for me is we do not own our own home, We have big plans to do so but we also know the deposit is going to take us another 5 or so years to get together, We have always saved for a deposit throughout most of the time we have been together but life happens and it has to be spent, I feel silly but in the same respect hopefully we can still do both.

Well done, you waited presumably until you were stable, had a home (even if you don't own it but you will own one some day), and decent jobs etc, and you are still young.

It is a funny feeling in a way and a lot of people start being anxious if they don't become pregnant straight away - but you will become pregnant and the contentment hormones will kick in - for you. Your husband might be a bit scared but he'll get used to it.

Well done you, you seem like a very sensible young woman.

This may sound really silly but I've had the implant for 2 years and have not been pregnant on it but haven't been on my period for 3 weeks now which is strange for me, anyone have any solutions?

@holly343434 this is my predicament. We have been saving for about 2 years (slowly) but like you say, stuff happens. It’s so difficult trying to save to buy a house when you are renting. For some reason it never occurred to us to start saving long before the past two years Growing up I always had it in my head that you get a really good job, get married, buy a house and then you have a baby. I’m now nearing my 30’s and none of those things have happened haha. While marriage is not important to me anymore, in fact the absolute opposite, the fact that we don’t own a house and I’m not in my dream job still worries me. I’ve just got to the stage now where I’m thinking I can’t put it off any longer because unfortunately for our generation they might never happen haha.

@Rachelover40 I really hope you’re right! I’m a natural worrier and suffer from panic attacks and worry that this will over shadow any feelings of joy because I will just be so anxious that things will go wrong. My partner is absolutely amazing. He is more eager than I am and doesn’t seem to worry about anything! I just hope this feeling of contentment that everyone seems to experience doesn’t pass me by...

@sammie1997 I’m really sorry but I haven’t ever had the implant so can’t offer any advice other than to speak to your gp. Like I said above, I’m an obsessive worrier so any little niggle and I’m at the doctors. I think they probably find me a bit irritating but it’s always best to check hopefully somebody else will be able to offer you more specific advice.

Thank you