Am I letting myself in for disappointment if I leave trying to conceive until after 35?

[Hippopotas]

I want to start TTC but equally I’m about to start a new career and was considering postponing TTC for 2-3 years. If I postpone I’ll be over 35 when trying to conceive.

So I suppose the question is do I just suck it up and put off a new career until after I have a child or wait and be over 35 when I try to conceive for the first time?

It's all very personal to you. I got pregnant relatively easily (5 months) at 35 and even more quickly (3 months) at 36-37. Some people won't get pregnant at age 20, others will at the drop of a hat at 45!

I think you can have private fertility tests to establish egg reserves etc. Could you stretch to that to make a more informed decision?

Only you know if it’s worth the risk, in 5 years time would you rather have the career or the baby? It is possible that if you leave ttc and there are any issues you might be too late. On the other hand it might be a lot more difficult starting a career later with a young child.

It is personal choice but I ttc and realised there were issues that I needed help with and ended up on clomid to have my son. Who was born just shy of my 35th birthday. I have a good career and it’s going to still be there. I might have to work a bit extra to get back into it but I don’t mind.

You’ve just started your career - at the minimum even if you conceived this month you wouldn’t have the baby until 9 months after that. Almost a year. And you can also decide how much time you want to take off. I’ve returned part time for 2 days a week and baby is only 9 months old.
So it’s all doable.

You just have to figure out if you can and want to balance it all out.

Good luck x

I think it depends on many things, not just how quickly you can conceive. I was lucky first try at 35 and at 38, but I was glad to have had my job for a few years to be able to get enhanced maternity pay and the goodwill to come back part time.

Nobody can help you make that decision. I’m currently 36 and 31 weeks pregnant. I got pregnant very easily.

Didn’t deliberately leave it until I was this age but didn’t meet my husband until I was 35.

It’s a chance you can take but only you know how you’ll feel if it doesn’t happen because you left it too late.

Many areas don't do IVF past the age of 34 now. You have to consider if you can afford to find fertility treatment yourself if you encounter any problems if you leave it so long.

I think you might be looking at this in black and white / all or nothing type of approach.

E.g. you say "I want to start TTC but equally I’m about to start a new career and was considering postponing. Do I just suck it up and put off a new career until after I have a child or wait and be over 35 when I try to conceive for the first time?"

Do you have to put off a new career until you have a child? Why not have a child and go part-time, or you work and your partner stay at home with the child?