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Conception

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Freezing eggs or preserving fertility another way

1 reply

Namechange51 · 11/11/2018 09:00

I am 29 and new(ish)ly single. I want to know what I can do in terms of health decisions now to try to “preserve” my fertility. I have considered freezing unfertilised eggs but it looks like an expensive, invasive procedure with quite a lot of complications and a low success rate. I’m struggling with moving on from my recent break up and also with living in a very family friendly city where everyone seems to be having babies. I think some concrete things to focus on for now would help me to move on from what I nearly had and let go of the jealousy of all the new mums I see. So I’d really appreciate any tips on anything you’ve tried.

In August I moved abroad to a really family friendly city in Scandinavia. The move was planned with ex-dp to be a few weeks after our wedding. We wanted a country which wasn’t either of our home countries and the family friendly culture here was a factor in our decision. I had even started taking folic acid already, that’s how close we got to ttc. But we broke up just before the wedding and I went ahead with the move on my own, while he stayed in the UK which is my home country.
I don’t regret that decision to move alone, and I’m enjoying my new job and making friends, but living somewhere new is hard especially as I’m not very good at speaking the language yet. But the thing I am struggling with the most is jealousy of all of the pregnant women and parents of young children that I see. I haven’t started dating yet but I have heard from colleagues, and noticed already, that the local men are not the easiest to get to know, so I am currently estimating if i do meet someone it will be at least 3-5 years before I’m considering ttc again. I’m scared that by the time I get there again it will be more difficult due to my age. I work with children and I really want to have my own but I feel like the chance of that happening is slipping away from me.

OP posts:
Kescilly · 11/11/2018 11:04

I can’t advise on egg freezing though I’ve read it’s best to do it early and not wait. Maybe you could get a fertility checkup for some reassurance?

Mostly I just wanted to say that I sympathize with you. I found myself divorced at thirty, having been with the same man since eighteen. Having a marriage break down was tough, but the really difficult part was wondering if I had wasted my chance to have children. We had briefly TTC’d unsuccessfully so I wasn’t sure if I was even fertile.

In the past five years I met and married someone far better, moved partway across the world, and have now found myself pregnant for the first time in my life. It took us four months to get my first BFP at 35.

There are no guarantees for anyone, and it’s hard to hit reset on that part of your life. I just wanted to say that I get it, and I wish you all the best.

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