Feeling sad. How do you keep positive?

[MrsDash]

I’m 11dpo and have just had a tiny amount of pale pink spotting. I used to get excited that it might be implantation bleeding but 5 cycles later I now realise it signals AF is on its way.

I’ve been off the pill 10 months. I have recently been diagnosed with endometriosis (mostly on my bladder so in theory shouldn’t stop me conceiving) and my gynaecologist has now told us to have fertility checks. I had a chemical back in June though so know I can get pregnant but at the moment it just feels so remote and at the same time so many friends are getting pregnant. I’m really struggling to cope.

How does everyone keep a positive mental attitude?

That’s awful that your partner wasn’t allowed. My husband was allowed in once I’d come round from the op and had pain relief, which meant he was there by the time the doctor came to speak to me.
I had similar feedback, they said they couldn’t remove it due to size and location. So frustrating isn’t it because you feel awful from the lap but no treatment has even been done. I wasn’t sure what the gynaecologist was going to suggest but her plan makes sense. We will have fertility tests and if all seems okay continue TTC for maybe a year. The idea being id have the treatment after kids. But since endo can spread it’s a good idea to have a time frame in mind. I wonder whether you might get very similar advice.
I keep having to remind myself to focus on the positive things like the fact that my endo isn’t on my reproductive organs, I’m clearly ovulating as I had a chemical, and also I’m lucky, like you, that I am in the position to have a baby. Imagine being single and finding out your fertility may be affected?
But I’m starting to get really down now I’ve been off the pill 10 months. Every time af arrives I feel sad, worried it’s not working and also slightly stressed at the imminent pain which, for me, lasts during af and the week following. Sorry this is a bit of an essay! One of those days :(

We tried for over 2.5 years and it really does wear you down. Every month symptom spotting, taking a million tests, and that crushing disappointment.
I found that I had to do something as it was really taking over my life. So what I did was, when my period came I just plonked on the sofa, had wine, tea, chocolate and I just felt sad. Just embraced it. Accepted that it was shit! That I felt like shit and that I was really sad about it. Accepting the sadness for that weekend or day or two really helped me then to move on to the next month with some more positivity. Otherwise one month just rolled into the next.
Keep going , it’s one the hardest journeys it really is xx

@MrsDash does sound like we're in very similar situations. Bless your heart you are a little further along in your journey than I am so I feel bad for being annoyed my af has come the last two months. Totally understandable to have one of those days, but I agree with @sauvignonblancplz I have also learnt sitting in your pjs doing nothing but binge watching tv chomping away on anything you fancy and just having a good mope can actually do some good I certainly won't beat myself up about having them days. Have you got something nice you and DH can go and do over the weekend to distract you? Maybe a nice date night or have a pamper evening? Do you find the most irritating thing people say is oh just relax it will happen when you least expecting/aren't obsessing!? I just can't see myself suddenly turning round and thinking ah well it will happen one day and relaxing about it all!!

I think it's very personal. We've been trying for dc 2 for 11 months, with an early mc in March. My due date would have been next week. I assumed I'd be pregnant at least by now. Everyone in my Nct group has recently had a baby or is pregnant. It feels shit. I give my head a wobble sometimes and try and appreciate what I've got and try and have faith that it will happen. Have got the ball rolling on getting fertility tests done, so I feel like I'm trying.

Don’t feel bad @molinski I completely understand. It’s difficult no matter where you are in the TTC process. I’ve been feeling like this for a while tbh. I think having the endo diagnosis makes you fear for the worst even when the gynaecologist is saying you should be able to conceive.
I would liked to have sat at home in pjs all weekend but we’re visiting the in laws. I suppose it’s a distraction. Thanks for the advice @sauvingnonblanc, makes a lot of sense. Hope everyone has a nice weekend x