Not mental load but TTC load....

[TheFlame]

Today I am mildly annoyed how I am the one bearing all the mental load of TTC. It's been a while now and I'm the one who is checking for mucus, and taking my temperature, and watching out for twinges or spotting, and avoiding swordfish or whatever it is we're meant to be avoiding this month, and taking folic acid........

and he just has to turn up!

Now I know that he can't do any of those things and I've never eaten swordfish and have never wanted to.......

but is it just me that has an amused grump that it seems I'm going to much more effort??????

Have you posted before? There seemed to be a similar thread the other day.

Joys of being a woman I guess we get the raw end of the deal but then we also get to build and carry a life inside of us that men will never get to experience.

You don't actually have to do any of that though? You could just stop using contraception and have some fun sex. I didn't feel any "TTC mental load".

no, not posted about this before.

And I know it isn't necessary but after 18 months of trying just having fun obviously wasn't working. Added to that the fact that husband works away fairly often means it has become a bit important to know which months I likely ovulated on day 13, and which were day 16.

I understand what you mean. When we were ttc #2 I felt like it was constantly on my mind. Worrying about irregular cycles, timing of dtd etc. I think men tend to be more relaxed and assume it'll happen easily.

I feel your pain. My OH still thinks it will happen if we just have sex every now and then, despite the fact I'm 39 and we've been trying for a while now. I'd estimate we have about a 0.5% chance of conception if we left it to him! Although it's probably not much higher my way too, but at least I'm being proactive.

I hear you! I don’t think men will ever understand as, as you’ve said, most of the stuff is physically happening to us! There are things the man can do though - cutting out alcohol, taking vitamins, wearing looser boxers etc so if yours isn’t doing any of that it might help you feel a bit more like you’re in it together?

I really tried to frame it in a positive way in my mind - rather than a list of things I had to do that were a burden, try and think of those things as the positive steps you are actively taking to getting your baby! It actually must be a bit shit for men to have very little they can control...