Nervous about TTC after miscarriage

[NicolaG12]

I had a miscarriage in mid September, the week before what would have been our 12 week scan. I had some bleeding and pain so an early scan confirmed Heartbeat stopped at 8 + 5 and I had a natural miscarriage the day later.

Ive now had my first period and into my fertile time and DH and I are now trying again. We really want a baby though im just feeling so nervous about trying again, worried it will take ages for a BFP and if we do get one that I will loose it again.

I know it is probably normal to feel like this after a loss. I’ve found speaking to other women over this forum really helpful so wondered if anyone has any tips? Xx

I know exactly how you feel my lovely. I found out at my 12 week scan that the heartbeat had stopped at 8 weeks too. I didn’t have any bleeding at all, my body hadn’t recognised the loss and I had a D&C at start of August. Going into my 3rd cycle now and thought I would of seen a bfp by now but I’m accepting that it may not happen as quick as it did before. I know my body has been through quite a bit of trauma, like yours so you must be kind to yourself and not put too much pressure on yourself. Having said this I do still go anxious periods where I wonder when it will happen again, and then with that comes but will it happen again because I can’t go through it agin. I genuinely feel when it does happen again the first few months will be so worrying so I know how you feel. Stay positive, open minded and have faith. It will happen just don’t wish your life away in the process like I have found I’m doing. I’m working on this too! Big hugs xx

Aww thanks for your message baby cakes. I’m sorry you are going through this too. So much of what you have said rings true with me. Especially feeling you can’t go through a loss again. That’s exactly how I feel and I feel bad for saying that as I’ve had 1 mc and I have read of women who have had more and my heart breaks for them, they are strong women!

I feel like I’m going to put pressure on myself as the first time it happened in cycle 2 and I know I’m being silly to think it will be quick again this time. Argh, it’s so hard.

Your point about not wishing life away is helpful too, I feel like since mc I’ve been waiting for things, like my period coming, ovulation, then thinking about testing and then starting the process all over again. It’s mentally exhausting.

I hope you are doing ok. Thanks for a lovely response x

Your more than welcome! Just trying to take each day as it comes. Some days that’s a lot easier said than done totally get that! Having no control or knowledge about how it will pan out is the worse I find. Sending you loads of luck 😘 xx

I'm in a similar situation, missed miscarriage in September and had to have medical management. I bled for weeks then got my period and just away to come into fertile phase. I really want to try and relax and not get uptight about things but I think I'm equally scared of not falling straight away again and falling straight away and same happening again. Good luck to both of you.

Thanks and you Easterbuns1. So sorry that it’s happened to you too. That’s my main two anxiety’s in all of this too, when will it happen again and will the same happen again 😢That was my first pregnancy and the first 3 months were so happy & surreal. I’m going into cycle 3 now and it sounds weird but because i haven’t fell as quickly as I had wanted straight after I kind of feel like I have just accepted that it may take more time. Keep telling myself that when my body’s ready again after this it will hopefully give me my rainbow😗👶🏽 Xx good luck xx