How do you know?

[AprilSnakehole]

Sorry if I’m posting this in the wrong place but how did you all know when you wanted to start trying for a baby?

My DH and I have discussed it and we are both in the middle about- he is 40 and has DSD (we see her 4/5 times a year as her mother moved with her to another country) and I’m 32.

He has requested that if we are going to try he wants it to be sooner rather than later due to his age.

I’m just not sure what I want to do - so how did you know?

For me, it was Christmas with my family last year. My nieces and nephews were running around and I was holding my youngest niece (she was about 8 weeks) and I just thought “yes, I’m ready.”

Discussed it with DH on the way home, and we agreed that we would start trying once my next pack of pills finished. We actually ended up delaying that by a month due to a couple of things, but by March we couldn’t wait any longer.

Practically speaking, we were financially comfortable and settled as we were, so we felt that a baby wouldn’t disrupt things too much. We’ll see when he arrives 😂

What is it that’s making you unsure? X

I fell pregnant by accident. The second I saw that pink dot on the test I knew I'd die for that baby. I don't think there is ever a right time. I've got 3 DC and none of them were particularly planned. If I'd planned it would never have happened

Ah lovely!

I’m not sure - a bit of everything! Finances, lack of family support (distance, not through them not wanting to) a worry of what it could do to our relationship, a worry of the baby being constantly compared to DSD. We already seem to be so busy and tired just from work I wonder how on earth we’d fit a baby in 😂

I’m trying to do research on conceiving etc so I’m aware of everything. I don’t want to leave it a few years and either have lots of problems TTC or DH have decided it’s too late for him by then and me being desperate for a baby all of a sudden. But also don’t want to have a baby and be unsure as that isn’t fair on the baby...!

We assumed it would take a long time (years) to fall pregnant with my first as I have pcos and there have been other issues in the family relating to infertility including early menopause. Also things were slightly better financially as we’d moved in together (dating for 2 years first though) so less bills etc. We were both late twenties too. Despite passively trying we fell pregnant first time after coming off the pill. I wouldn’t say I knew I was ready at the time, just that I was almost ready and that was good enough for me x

I love the phrase “almost ready” I know nobody is ever completely ready or prepared- I just need to be sure it’s definitely what I want rather than ready for! Thank you

Honestly I don't think there is ever a right time ! When it comes to finances etc, something always crops up!
My first was a surprise when I was early 20s but like a previous person said, as soon as I seen the positive test I just knew I was ready !

I think as long as you're happy in your relationship and you're pretty certain it's for the long haul then any time is great ! Obviously it could take a while to conceive so that's something to think about , they do say it can be harder the older you are but it's not like that for everyone ! You could always just 'not try, not prevent' to start off with , so that you're not putting pressure on it but know you'd be pleased if it did