So I don't even know if I should write this but i suppose I'm getting my feelings down in black and white.
I have always wanted children, always. I had a MMC in June 2017 and have been trying since with no luck. Every month ends in disappointment.
Roll on to today and I have my first appt with a fertility clinic to see what's going on....or not!
Had a chat with my husband last night as I started having thoughts.....What if it just isn't meant to be? If I was meant to have children, would I not have had them by now? What If I go through all these tests and processes and the outcome isn't good for me ie something happens to me during pregnancy or birth or I do get pregnant and get to a certain point and something happens baby? Should I be seeking intervention if it hasn't happened on its own?
Husband and I chatted and his only concern is that at 40 for me and 63 for him, will we have the energy for a baby?
Part of me thinks if you want something so badly, you must go after it and make it happen. Other part of me thinks nature should take it's course. Part of me thinks I'm just nervous about today. I know that if in was told I wasn't able to have children I would be devastated.