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Original poster

I want my baby but the father doesn't!

15 replies

Benn11 · 21/10/2018 00:26

Hi guys
I'm really new to this site and hopefully I'm using it right.
I was hoping I would get some advice from anyone who's been in this situation before:
I am currently about five weeks pregnant and it's with a guy whom I've never been in a relationship with but we have been sexual for some time. He is admittedly a very nice guy all round but I recently found out that I was pregnant and when I told him, unsurprisingly he was very against the idea of having this baby. Reasons being that we are not together, careers, finance, parents, housing etc and all these reasons I understand but I do not want to get rid of my baby.

Immediately after I told him he asked me to call bpas the next day to book an appointment and told me that if I keep this baby I should block his number. I have booked the consultation but I don't want to go through with it.
I was hoping for any words or encouragement and even any advice as to what I should do from here and especially HOW TO TELL HIM IM KEEPING MY BABY.

Thank you xxx

OP posts:
redexpat · 21/10/2018 00:38

I would just not tell him. He does not get to decide what happens to your body. Also youre only 5 weeks. If the pregnancy goes as it should then I would give the baby your name, leave his name off the burth certificate and put in a claim with the cms. As my MIL says if you play the lottery you risk winning so if he isnt prepared for the consequences then he should stop having sex.

Shinesweetfreedom · 21/10/2018 00:57

Has he pulled this stunt before to someone else to immediately suggest bpas.
Yeah totally your call.He said don’t tell him so don’t.
And cms once baby is here.

user1457017537 · 21/10/2018 01:01

Have your baby, your body your choice. Best wishes Flowers

SleepWarrior · 21/10/2018 01:09

Congratulations on your pregnancy Flowers

If he doesn't want to know then that is his loss. It is an awful thing to do to pressure a woman who wants her already-conceived-child into getting an abortion.

Maybe give his some space for a few weeks. Don't initiate any contact but don't actually block him. See if he wants to think about things and then come back to you to talk about it. If not... then you have the freedom to approach everything to do with this baby however YOU feel happiest with.

Plenty of fantastic things about being a single parent so don't be discouraged!

Mamabear12 · 21/10/2018 09:48

I agree w the pps that if you want the baby, keep it and don’t bother with him. If he is an all around nice guy why arent you in a relationship if you have been dtd for a long time? To me he does not sound like a nice guy! Will you have support after baby is born from your family?

choli · 22/10/2018 03:50

It's your call. But don't fool yourself that having this baby will make this into a "relationship". It won't.

Bellabutterfly2016 · 22/10/2018 04:35

Congratulations op;

I have afew friends who are single parents, they do a great job and 2 of them found themselves in situations like this. 1 of the dads sees his son, the other doesn't see his but both situations work.

If you have no intention of having a termination then I'd cancel the appointment- he cannot make you go.

Good luck 💐

HereForTheLineEyes · 22/10/2018 05:27

Agree with PP - cancel the appointment. No one can make you have a termination, and it's awful that he's trying to bullhorn you into it. Mentally I'd try to back off from him a bit. Just focus on you and the baby.

Congratulations!Flowers

todayiwin · 22/10/2018 06:11

Cancel the appointment. I was in a similar situation.

I now have a WONDERFUL 5 year old who rocks my world.

I did block "his" number, we've not spoken or any communication in years.

It's hard but the best thing I've ever done. I've never been happier.

HereForTheLineEyes · 22/10/2018 06:23

I had a teenage pregnancy I kept against my families wished. He's 9 and the best thing ever! Family did come round after a year or two and he is now the apple of their eye. Don't let anyone pressurise you. You can do it

confusedandemployed · 22/10/2018 06:28

He had the veto on whether to get you pregnant before he had sex without a condom.
Now his views, frankly, count for shit.

Millie2014 · 27/10/2018 23:03

Please don't let anybody push you to termination if it's not what you 100% want. I think BPAS offer counselling to help with your decision either way so maybe take up that service for some extra support x

MyOtherProfile · 27/10/2018 23:06

Do you have a good support network? Go with what your heart says.

dontalltalkatonce · 27/10/2018 23:11

He doesn't get to decide that. I'd cancel the appointment. I wouldn't communicate with him at all and plan to have the child on my own. Would not give the baby his name or put him on the birth certificate. Don't fool yourself that he'll be in a relationship. Don't have a termination you don't want.

Stephisaur · 28/10/2018 08:24

@Benn11 how are you doing?

I agree with the other posters. This is your body and your life. He’s entitled to his opinion, but you’re the one who matters most here. If that means he doesn’t want to be involved, then sod him Flowers

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