Frustrated and emotional

[RC1985]

Hello Ladies

I have been trying to concieve for a year and had nothing. I am 32 (OH 38) have a regular 28 day cycle, positive opks, EWCM etc. DTD regularly and still nothing. I know people have been trying for longer but the more time goes on the more frustrated I get. The worst part is I was pregnant when I was 25 and had a termination and have always regretted it ever since. Now I think there’s something seriously wrong with us and we’ll have to wait years for treatment. I’m sorry, I just need to get it off my chest as my friends don’t I understand and everyone else around us is having a baby. My friend told me today about someone else who is having a baby that we know and couldn’t understand why I wasn’t excited. I actually felt like crying and have felt like that all day today at work and just don’t know what to do. Sorry again.

Hi,

Just wanted to say be gentle on yourself.

I assume that you've been/are going to GP as it's been a year?

This might sound, or might even be crazy, but do you think your feelings about your termination might be hindering your ability to get pregnant? Have you had proper counselling or anything for it?
I only ask because I had a consultation with an acupuncture practitioner today as I keep losing pregnancies. She asked me if I'd had any terminations as she wanted to determine if I needed to see a hypnotherapist first to get any notions about not feeling I deserved a baby out of my head. It's not the case for me, but I just thought I'd mention it in case it struck a cord for you...

I'm sure you had your reasons for the termination at the time. Please don't play the "what if" game with yourself.

Thanks for the advice knitKitty. It’s always been in the back of my mind but I guess when I was on the pill I just tried not to think about it or thought I was been silly and I’ll be fine but now it’s become very real. I keep thinking about what age the child would be now and how I made a mistake. Maybe I should seek help as I bottle it up and try not to think about it but it’s becoming harder not to lately.

Go to your GP as you have been trying for a year. They will often do blood tests and semen analysis. If not you can go private for these tests which will put your mind at rest. We had a couples fertility check.... Blood test, internal scan and SA for about £300ish.

Thanks LillyLeaf, is there a long wait for analysis on NHS? I don’t mind paying that tbh. I think I get private HC from work as of next May so I’m hoping to use that if I need to, if things get expensive. I hope your analysis went ok? Also how does it work, do they have you in together to discuss or separate? X

For the NHS they did my bloods pretty quickly, actually as soon the right time in my cycle came. The NHS first check progesterone to make sure I was ovulating, which I was. We then went private for AMH levels, scan and SA. They chatted to us a bit before the scan. The scan showed a small polyp/fibroid, that then took 8 months waiting to get it removed on the NHS. 18 months of TTC later and we're having IVF, again private as the NHS waiting list was 9 months. That's why I think it's best to get a move on with the testing as if you need IVF the wait could be very long. We also decided pretty early on to save money in case needed IVF. We were 34 when we started ttc.

Thanks for the advice. Yea, that’s a long wait. How much is IVF privately if you don’t mind me asking? We will be going to see GP soon.

It does vary massively, anything from 5k-7k, we're using access fertility were you pay upfront for a few rounds and get a part refund if it doesn't work, it works out cheaper per round if you need more, but if it works first time you've paid more. Also you pay for drugs on top of this. Don't worry about all this yet but just be mindful. It's more likely you will get pregnant soon. Good luck