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Original poster

Seeking advice on finding an egg donor for IVF treatment

11 replies

WishingBig · 11/10/2018 13:52

I was recently delivered a devastating blow that the only chance I have of having a family is via IVF using an egg donor. Not only was this news upsetting enough, but I was then informed I would have to try and seek a potential egg donor, otherwise face years on a waiting list. Regrettably I only have funding for 12 months (and I'm already 1 one into this period) and so I wondered if anyone had any advice on how best to recruit/find someone? I've created a website (wishing-big.com) but I would love to hear if anyone has had to do anything simliar and if so, what worked?

Any advice would be much appreciated.

OP posts:
Teo21 · 11/10/2018 15:25

hello
i was in the same situation as you few months ago and now i found the prefect donor and i had 7 embryos to start the IVF

we can talk more in private if i can be off any help

xx

Lauren83 · 11/10/2018 19:08

Are you at an NHS unit? I was told I would have a 2 year wait for a donor with them but was able to transfer to a private clinic, check what contracts your CCG has as they may have something with private providers

Teo21 · 11/10/2018 19:32

hi there
i done my share with the nhs and the private clinics in london...waste of time and money and most of it hopes ruined,,, i went on private abroad quicker&less expensive&much more professional and most of it all private information regarding the donor

i did try to transfer too....to long..i wasted more 2 years :( of my life waiting while in greece took me few months

wish you all the best x

Original poster
WishingBig · 12/10/2018 14:53

Unfortunately my CCG won't let me transfer to a private clinic even though they do accept NHS patients. (They have no waiting list of course, but I don't have a spare £7K!) I just feel desperate that as an NHS patient you have to actively recruit a donor or face a lengthy wait. (time I don't have) It was suggested to me that I place adverts in newspapers, put up posters at work etc, but it just doesn't feel right to me. I'd rather not everyone know of my inability to have children naturally. It makes me feel quite worthless.

Many thanks for your suggestions though, I do appreciate your responses. I also hope you had positive outcomes to your situations. xx

OP posts:
Lauren83 · 12/10/2018 15:10

That's rubbish, has your GP tried submitting an IFR to the CCG? I work in a private IVF clinic and know loads that have appealed a transfer with an IFR that's been a successful due to needing donor eggs. Luckily my transfer was easy I still needed the IFR but it was sorted within 2 weeks, have they specifically said they have no contracts with private providers?

Teo21 · 12/10/2018 17:44

Dear WishingBig so sorry that you going trough all this as i know very well how is to feel let down by nhs&london private clinics my heart goes to you......as i said previous i "hit" myself with the head on the wall i the same circle....and even if they would agree to transfer to a private still the lack of eggs donors is deep in there too.....and i will tell you my story....i manage after 7 month fight to move in private ..they fed me with promises that they will be able to help and after 3-4 month still been told to find my donor and that i been add to the waiting list....and as you so right say i felt like i was on the market shouting out loud my fertility issue maybe someone will raise a hand and help out ....absolutely humiliating .....and i stepped on my heart to go for donor, to do all i possible could, moved to private ...and nothing 23 months , 2 years off suffering and still no sign of any donor ....so i know first hand what your going through ....as i said previous i broke this circle of hell by going abroad ....i so wish that you won't do my mistakes and maybe if by telling my ivf story someone will find it helpful.......
And Lauren83 if you really work on private ivf clinic you should be more honest here ...don't give this ladies hope by talking about 2 weeks times because ain't real (maybe for an insider) , really you should give them first hand info how and when the private clinics can find donors , waiting times since requested...you know helpful things ....Nothing personal really but i been fed up with lies and 12k out of pocket for nothing...and i so know i'm not the only one who has been left with broken heart but maybe not many have the guts to post here their experience

WishingBig my prayers and heart goes to you dear xxxx

Original poster
WishingBig · 12/10/2018 18:02

My GP said there were no grounds to submit an IFR to the CCG. Apparently there are no exceptional circumstances to warrant this in my case. In fact, it was made clear that I was lucky to have received funding from my CCG alone for the egg donation as I understand many don't support this. You have made me think I should pursue it further as I guess I have nothing to lose, other than my sanity.

OP posts:
Teo21 · 12/10/2018 18:07

so sorry dear just be strong and i'm sure you will find the way to sort it x

Lauren83 · 12/10/2018 19:47

@Teo21 With respect you have clearly not read my post correctly, I was discussing with the OP about submitting an IFR to the CCG to transfer funding to a private provider, something which was sorted in 2 weeks as I said, from my NHS clinic writing a supporting letter saying they had no donor gametes, my GP submitting the IFR stating clinical exceptionality and the CCG sending an acknowledgment letter then writing with a decision. This took 2 weeks. So don't tell me I'm being unhelpful, the wait time at the clinic I work is is currently 3-4 months for Caucasian donors, 3 years for black donors and 5 years for Asian donors.

Lauren83 · 12/10/2018 19:57

@WishingBig its so stressful isn't it, speak to the CCG yourself and speak to private clinics asking if they have contracts with your CCG. I was fobbed off by my GP years ago saying I had to try for 2 years even though I had severe endometriosis when I knew it was 6 months so I challenged them, also looking after a couple of patients recently who were told by their GP they couldn't get funding as one had a child and I knew it was incorrect so I spoke to the GP myself and they got funding transferred, I can't see how needing donors eggs isn't a case for being clinically exceptional to other patients.

Randomly years ago I joined here to look for an egg donor, that was my first post on here as I was at NHS unit (in the Northwest area) I also joined pride angel which is pretty strange and a lot of time wasters but it's kind of like a swap shop for eggs and sperm, I got a few offers of eggs but not sure how serious they were, I had a lot asking for my partners sperm too which wasn't available Grin I wouldn't recommend that site by the way just another option.

For my donor matches in the UK that were on the NHS at a private clinic I waited 4 weeks and then 14 weeks from memory, I was flexible with requirements so wasn't hard to match

Teo21 · 13/10/2018 10:24

i am glad to see to see more info and directions for @WishingBig ..that's what she needs and asked for :advice, directions,personal experience so she has some options lined up...

@Lauren83 your last post it's just brilliant and that what i meant by being helpful and not to turn this into an argument

As i said my personal opinion and experience it is different ,i been let down big time by both nhs and london private clinics and oh God I did my best

Hope more will post their stories and WidshingBig and others in the same situation will have some insight first hand
Have a lovely weekend ladies x

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