How does everyone cope with the disappointment?

[Leighanndancer]

Hi everyone. TTC #2 had an early miscarriage Sept 17. Managed to get my head together and we started trying again in March. My question is how on earth doesn everyone cope with the crushing disappointment when AF comes. I was convinced this month had been different as had different symptoms but then this morning AF reared her ugly head.
I’m devastated this month.
Hubby says it’s fine and we have time etc
Just need support from people who understand 😢💖

I’ve only just started TTC so perhaps not the best to advise but wanted to comment as I really feel for you and can imagine it’s really crushing each other when AF comes, especially after a MC and trying for a while. I’m really nervous i’ll have a similar struggle.

My current tactic (and appreciate I haven’t been trying long so haven’t experienced the heartache you have) is to make social plans with friends that obvs if I got a BFP i’d have to not drink at. Ie we’re going on a city break to Barcelona soon and so if I don’t get a BFP between now and then at least i’ll be able to enjoy some cocktails! Similarly we’ve booked a day at Ascot races & if I don’t get a BFP i’ll be able to drink Prosecco all day. Not much of a consolation prize but helps me as I’m really into socialising (and drinking!!)

My point is maybe have some other things to look forward to.

Hope that helps, wishing you lots of luck for your TTC journey & hope it happens for you soon x

Antidepressants, yoga, counselling and acupuncture helped me variously I've my two and a half years of ttc... it really is shit though!

Oh and I left my job, which helped with my stress levels too.

Back on my mental health medication, saw a counsellor and gone down to working part time have all helped me manage the stresses of TTC#2.

Day before AF is due I will go buy beers and shitty food and plan something silly with DS during the day (work permitting) and something nice with DH in the evening (his work permitting).

I also have a massive spreadsheet of all the expected due dates for next year and I just keep thinking "oh well at least if I dont hit this month then next cycle's due date will be nice because of x, y and z"

@TwittleBee I love your idea of getting supplies in! I think I'm going to copy you and plan to have lots of treats and comfort things around for next month. In fact I kinda wish I'd done that before TTC as well!

We've been TTC for about 4 months now and I thought this month would be the one (had a number of symptoms and went off coffee) but AF appeared this morning and I feel like a failure.

My close friends were convinced too and can't bring myself to say it didn't happen.

I know it's not the best advice, but after nearly 2 years it's the only thing...wine and chocolate and a good cry, followed by taking my mind off things, cleaning and shopping works, relaxing yoga and a good heart to heart with a friend or dp xx