TTC early success: First time chancers V the long time waiters?

[DoveGreylove]

I sit in the group of TTC'ers who has had to wait a long time for my husband to come round to the idea of starting a family and then when we were ready.. we had to wait 6 months to TTC because of Zika (Doh!).

I have been pondering the chance of pregnancy success considering the difference between someone like me who has been wanting this for so SO long versus someone who hasn't had the stress of waiting for their other half to be on board or have their own reasons to delay TTC.

The Majority of my friends got pregnant first cycle and most of them didn't have the stress of desperately wanting a baby and waiting to TTC. They just decided with their husband's to try and bam they got pregnant. I on the other hand, have wanted this for a good two years and am only now TTC. I feel like the pressure to get pregnant is so intense in my heart and soul compared to my friends when they tried for a baby and wonder if they fell pregnant so quickly because they didn't have that stress or pressure when they had sex that "one time"?

What do you think?

Hi!

We were a bit of a funny situation as we were both planning on waiting a year after we got married because we were supposed to be going on an amazing holiday. Then we both decided that actually we didn't want to wait, and we were blessed that we fell pregnant in the first cycle with our son.

This time around, again we were both on board with TTC and fell pregnant in the second cycle.

I think certainly being stressed and putting pressure on yourself makes it harder to conceive, but it's so difficult not to when it's everything you want.

All the best to you, and fingers crossed that it happens quickly!

I think there are too many factors to really say. I have wanted a baby for ten years and tried briefly with my ex in my twenties, unsuccessfully. When we got divorced, it was the one thing I couldn't really get over, knowing that I had wasted my best fertile years on him. I've since remarried and was really stressed about it being too late at the age of 35. My cycles were getting shorter, I have other health conditions, I hadn't been successful before, etc. I have so many friends who had unexpected fertility problems in their twenties that I wasn't sure we'd be able to conceive now.

We didn't get a BFP on the first try but we did in what I think was cycle #4. It's really early days but I'm still in shock as I never thought I'd see a BFP after waiting so long. I'd already been reading up on fertility treatments because I assumed we'd struggle.

Statistically, not that many couples get pregnant on their first cycle. People who say that aren't always being honest. It could be coincidence. Or they might retroactively consider it the first cycle they were "really trying" even though they were having unprotected sex before. You just don't know.

It's good to find ways to manage stress, but that alone isn't responsible for anyone's fertility. Please be kind to yourself, and best of luck on your TTC journey.

I don’t think it makes any difference. First time round had history of PCOS assumed it would take a while for pregnant first attempt (honeymoon baby). Second time went in assuming we were super fertile. 11 months on I’m still TTC.

Try not to stress. I know it’s easier said than done. Good luck.

I waited at least a year to ttc from when I was 'ready'. We were then ttc for well over two and a half years and we're so lucky to have a successful cycle of ivf (despite them finding nothing wrong with either of us).

It ruined me as a person and I lost my career because of the stress and depression.

Honestly, it's just pot luck.

Thanks everyone for your replies :)

It's hard not to stress though! I wish I had the opportunity to just enjoy unprotected sex to "see what happens" but sadly we are way past that due to age and I just don't have that luxury. I know the stress won't help my situation so I need to try to relax and take my mind of it :)

I'm only on cycle 2 (TWW), I don't mean to sound dramatic. I think I'm just a little envious that I'm already having to work at this compared to most of my friends who conceived immediately with no effort.