Will I ever get pregnant again?

[Ells0204]

Negative post.

TTC #1. On to cycle 10, 7th cycle post 2nd and last MC. AF hasn’t even started but just had a BFN on a FRER. I’m about 12dpo but didn’t track this cycle.
“It’s not over until AF shows” trust me I’m out. If I haven’t had a BFP by 12dpo I’m never pregnant.

I’m just. So. Sick. And tired. I’m a shadow of the person I once was and beginning to wonder if it’s just not meant to be. Yes fully aware some women on here have been trying for much longer, don’t need reminding. I just have no one else or no other platform to vent this on. I haven’t even told OH I tested.

Last MC was early about 6 weeks, but it was the most painful, messy, frightening experience of my life. My body and mood just hasn’t been the same since and I can’t help but thinking it’s just f*cked everything up.

I didn’t track this month and booked loads of fun things for me and OH to do to keep us precoccupied and relaxed. Who was I kidding thinking this time would be any different.

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. It really is shit.
Try and be kinder to yourself. Is there anything you can do to try and build a better relationship with your body? I know it sounds silly, but when I was beating myself up about my body being stupid and fat and incapable of getting pregnant like other people, acupuncture helped with relaxation and feeling more in control almost?

That's not to say acupuncture got me pregnant - it didn't and I'm still not - but it did help mentally I think.

Take care xx

Just wanted to say I’m sorry you’re feeling awful and you’re not alone.

TTC makes me obsessive and miserable too. I think about by MC all the time.

Sometimes you have to let yourself feel sad. Stay strong, keep busy, wishing you good things.

Oh hun, I totally feel the same.

Started TTC in December last year, had MMC in March and two chemicals since then.

Period started today and I feel like shite. It's just hard to believe it's ever going to happen for real and it's getting harder by the month.

Hugs!

Oh @Ells0204 I could have written your post! TTC is not only an emotional rollercoaster, it totally changes you as a person the longer it goes on for. Just started cycle 10 (early MC in Jan and Apr) and like you, if not BFP by 11dpo, it’s over. It’s shit! So very shit.

Sorry I haven’t tried to cheer you up - sometimes it’s refreshing just to admit how hard it is. I hope tomorrow is a better day xx

Thank you for your replies, I stayed off here for most of the weekend just trying to enjoy myself and not think about it!

@ivf2019 I’ve heard so much about acupuncture and I’ve also looked into reflexology and massage etc. I’m kind of at the point now where I know deep down nothing will “get” me pregnant but if I can at least improve my mental state whilst doing it, I’ll be happier!

@wouldthatbeworse it’s important to have good days and bad days I think! I’m feeling better today about it I think it’s just when you pin everything on that first test and it’s BFN is when it hits you the worst!

@knitkitty I’ve seen your posts on here before and I’m so sorry you’re going through it too! I’m a big believer in positivity but with something like this it’s so hard to stay positive. The journey is funny, when you start TTC it’s fun and exciting but now I can’t wait for it to be over...

@tefiti2 oh wow yes we are the same, I had my first loss in January too, then again in April. It looks like we fell pregnant pretty quickly both times and then nothing since then...makes you question why. I never realised how much of a lottery it really it to even get pregnant let alone keep your baby.

Sorry for the long post but did really want to take the time to reply individually! You didn’t have to take the time and energy out of your day to reply to my miserable post but you did and reading them did make me feel better

Good luck everyone and I pray we all get some good news soon xxx