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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

IVF baby researching IVF - please help!

11 replies

Millz · 04/10/2018 22:51

Hello all,

I am researching for a piece about how millennial women think about fertility. I was born through IVF myself, so I know firsthand how difficult going through fertility treatments can be. But I am not sure many other women my age (I am in my mid twenties) are aware of this. I would love to hear any opinions about younger women's attitudes to conception/ART, or experiences of IVF.

Thank you!

OP posts:

physicskate · 05/10/2018 06:57

I didn't have a clue... thought I could get pregnant when I wanted because that's what I'd been warned about at school. Whoops. Oh and I also thought there had to be something actually physically wrong with you if you didn't conceive. Whoops.

Original poster

Millz · 06/10/2018 12:43

Hi Kate,

Thanks for the response! I agree - school makes you worried about getting pregnant, rather than not getting pregnant... Do you feel like your understanding of fertility has changed now?

OP posts:

physicskate · 06/10/2018 22:34

Um yes. I've educated myself a bit by talking to doctors (specialists), reading literature and articles, becoming a frequent contributor to Mumsnet and by going through infertility (and having a myriad reasons suggested as to why we didn't conceive without the intervention of ivf.

ReginaPhalange89 · 06/10/2018 23:00

Im late 20s,

I've had 2 babies and both were conceived very easily/quickly, never had any miscarriages or issues . But I am aware now at my age just how hard it is and how im extremely lucky to have had it this easy. I don't think you realise when you're younger how difficult it actually is to conceive. You spend loads of your teen years worrying about getting pregnant and hear about so many one night stands leading to pregnancy that you don't really think it's an issue ! It's only once you're actually ttc a baby and tracking cycles etc that you understand. I don't think I knew how common miscarriages where either, but I have so many close friends and family members who've had them . And a few friends struggling to conceive and others who've had IVF already

ReginaPhalange89 · 06/10/2018 23:02

Should add we have just started ttc #3 this month and at 29 im worrying about how it's going to be this time round ! Feel like there's no way ill be lucky a 3rd time especially now im getting older

Original poster

Millz · 06/10/2018 23:53

I’m sorry to hear you’ve had to struggle with infertility... it’s something that I worry about in the future myself. Do you see IVF as the natural next step?

OP posts:

Original poster

Millz · 06/10/2018 23:57

ReginaPhalange89 - I agree about miscarriages not being talked about often (although it’s such a painful event for those involved you can understand why). So in your experience, do you think late 20s is the age when women should start taking fertility seriously, if they are planning on having children?

OP posts:

Iwantaunicorn · 07/10/2018 00:05

I was 26 when I started ttc. The first time we had unprotected sex I honestly thought that was it and BAM! I’d be pregnant. How wrong I was, I had no idea getting pregnant could be so bloody difficult.

We ended up having ivf 5 years later, and our DTs are now 8 months old.

MrsDash · 07/10/2018 08:29

Some interesting points here.

I totally agree re thinking that you only have to touch a boy to get pregnant! That’s the impression you get at school and also from some films.

I’m 29 and have been off the pill since January. So far in this time I’ve had one chemical pregnancy and a diagnosis of endometriosis so it’s definitely not proving simple and I’m finding it hard to confide in friends and be honest because two of my closest friends got pregnant really easily (as in first month trying, and an oops baby) and then quite a lot of my friends are still unmarried and babies are far from their minds. I feel a bit like a failure admitting that it’s not happening. I don’t even want people to know we’re TTC. I didn’t expect to feel like this but I do. I suppose it’s because people who get pregnant quickly are happy to talk about it, but when it takes longer women are less likely to open up (like me) so you feel more alone. That’s why sites like this are so good. I think that if we end up on the ivf route then I’ll still struggle to tell people. It’s not a shame thing, it’s more that I hate the idea of people constantly wondering/expecting you to be pregnant and that being an added pressure.

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone · 07/10/2018 09:07

I am classed as a millennial but I am older than you. For me, my fertility is frightening. I conceived at 28 and 30 and DP is quite a bit older. DC1 was a surprise and DC2 was planned but conceived on the first try.
I can't take hormonal contraceptive so DP had a vasectomy 2 weeks after DC2 was born.
I do think my education etc. prepared me for my actual experience and agree that infertility wasn't discussed.

physicskate · 07/10/2018 09:52

I've undergone one cycle of ivf and am now 18 weeks pregnant. I started ttc at 31 and really didn't think there would be a problem.

I also think there are misconceptions with fertility treatment. My odds of our cycle working were only about 30% at the age of 34. Everyone thinks ivf is some sort of magic bullet and it's really not.

I'd always wanted to start trying for number 1 before 30, but wanted to be married. Married at 30 and my dh wanted us to own a house, thinking we never would after we started a family. Bought the house at 31. I really was naive...

Most of my friends have kids but few experienced difficulty and none underwent infertility treatment. It was such a lonely time...

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