Did you tell your mum that you were TTC?

[Busholive]

Hi!

I'm getting married next year, me and OH will be 24. We want a fairly large family so plan to start TTC soon after we're married. I'm close with my mum and I know she'd be over the moon to be a grandparent. Part of me wants to tell her about our plans, mostly because its so exciting and I value her advice.

However, we don't want to talk about our plans and then have my mum try to persuade us to wait longer. By that point, we'll be in a home that we own and both me and OH have stable jobs - there won't be any big reasons not to start TTC.

So I just wondered if anyone else spoke to their mums about their plans TC, or if they wished they had, or hadn't!

Your dm can already guess you have sex with your OH. No need to confirm this imo.

No, we didn't tell anyone, although I used conception/fertility message boards with my first 2 and some would say that counted as telling people

I didn't tell dm anything about ttc, we are close but not 'dh and I are at it like rabbits' close. She was the first person to know I was pregnant (after dh of course) and that was about 6 weeks before telling other people

I didn't because I knew Mum would be upset/stressed if things went wrong for us. Obviously it's a journey that can take time and have highs and lows along the way, so I waited until I'd had a scan to share happy news with her.

Hi!

I'm 27 and have been married for a year. I told my mum this summer that we'd be starting to try next year but that it might take a while (PCOS) so she would know where we were and to maybe taper her expectations. And also to pass it along to my dad who is very excited to be a grandparent!

We've actually moved up our TTC timeline and have started now after my doctor told me I shouldn't wait much longer and that we have low chances of conceiving naturally. I haven't told her. If we did somehow conceive in the next few months it would be a lovely surprise for her, if not, we'll have started trying by next year for all that she knows.

I think it's fine to give your mum a general idea. Constant updates and TMI are probably best avoided, but it can't hurt to let her know where you are in life.

No! But if you're getting married a lot of people will assume you are TTC afterwards as it's quite a popular time to do so!

Sorry, that ended up much longer than I meant!

No, it wouldn't even have occurred to me. We are close but I would have hated my husband to have told his mother, it's too personal. Also, I think it's nice to announce it, if they know you are trying, it's not fun. I think it is different if you have fertility issues or have had a loss, in which case you might value the support, but otherwise, no.

I did but only because we'd been struggling and were starting investigations and looking at treatment options and I was an emotional wreck. It was a bad idea as she was full of platitudes and not very supportive...

No. Basically all you would be saying is ‘we’re having sex without contraception’. Telling people adds extra pressure IMO. Wouldn’t have occurred to me to tell anyone.

No way!

Haha okay, its good to gauge the general consensus! I'd thought of it more as 'we're planning to have a baby' which I guess what you tell people when you're pregnant anyway.