do u think I'm selfish??

[XamberXx]

DH and I were invited to a 3 year old b-day party from one of his work friends. I hope I don't seem selfish, but I told him I don't feel comfortable going. I feel like I just cannot go there. It would be too hard for me. I woke up feeling very sad today. It's been 4 years 4 months of TTC and today it's hitting me hard for some reason. I have good days and bad days… Today is not a good day. I can't seem to stop thinking of how much I want to have a baby and wondering why it has to be so difficult for people that really want to be parents. I had a conversation with DH. I explained that all I'm going to see there is people with their kids and hear about girls getting pregnant… Today I can't handle it. He understood and I love him for that. Does anyone feel like that sometime? Am I too selfish?

I really don't think it's selfish! Also who actually wants to go to a 3 years old Birthday party unless you are 3

I have my own 4 year old but have been the since he was 2 and just miscarried my 3rd this year. I am pretty bitter at the moment.

Have been ttc not have been the

I know I felt that way a lot. Personally I skipped a few showers. It’s just too hard! It’s hard both mentally and emotionally. Even physically it’s hard. It feels like a barrier inside you just doesn’t let you to go there. You just can’t. I felt like having a panic attack even thinking about going there! I just can't understand why it is so hard. Especially since the RE couldn't find a single thing wrong with me or DH. It just didn't make sense. If you do all the right things, you should get the result you want, right?? Well that is what I thought anyway. Part of me wanted them to find something wrong, so we could fix it. It's wonderful that you have such an understanding loving DH! You're not selfish. You’re emotional and dealing with a very personal situation. I would feel the same way. It's totally normal to feel this way. Go take a walk with DH or enjoy a glass of sparkling water with a slice of lime. Light a candle if it is dark enough. You have to try to get yourself in an even toned positive flow. I know it’s emotionally hard but do it for yourself! Don't think of anything and make DH rub your shoulders. This has worked for me.... It's nice to have a supportive DH! I put the fountain on in my garden/ yard and listen to birds and watch my pups play. It helps me relax. Do something good for yourself! Give yourself a break from thinking too much. You deserve it! Hang in there and just keep believing it will happen. Not as soon as you would have hoped, but just keep belief that it will. Don't allow doubt to plant itself in your mind or heart.

I appreciate that it's a horrendously difficult situation to be in when ttc and not being successful. However, if my OH gave me that reasoning, I would feel somewhat disappointed and frustrated.
I don't think it's fair to avoid social occasions whereby you're around women, pregnant women or children.

Xoxox

You are not being selfish honey. I know the feeling. I've been there many times. Thanks to my hubby, he never misunderstood me. You just acted based on what you feel. And your feelings are valid. It's really hard to be surrounded by families who have children while you feel frustrated all along. I know others will understand how you feel too. You're not selfish. I'm sure time will come. You will show to the world that you're a good mother.

Not selfish whatsoever!

I have been TTC for years. I totally understand what you are going through. It's hard when many of your friends are bragging about their kids. It’s even harder when people announcing news like, "I'm pregnant and we weren't even trying!!" That happened to me last week. This is so frustrating when each and everyone around you get pregnant… Seems they conceive right away, from the first try. We’ve tried so many treatments, medications, herbs, etc. but nothing. And everyone around thinks it’s their mission to ask “why don’t you have any kids yet? what are you waiting for?” This is so hard. Anyway, it's very hard because you are grieving that child that you do not have. Grief is a complicated thing. It's totally normal to feel the way you do. I hope you and the rest of us get pregnant very soon! In the mean time we can concentrate on our relationship with God and our relationship with our DH. I try to remember every day how blessed I am, and that makes me feel better.

It's not selfish at all. Until a few years ago it was thought I would never have children. My ovaries didn't develop and they weren't visible until a few years ago. I really struggled with seeing children as it hurt sometimes. Sometimes you need to protect yourself.