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Conception

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Trying to get pregnant for a year

2 replies

London91 · 28/09/2018 21:05

I've been ttc my first child since March last year. I fell pregnant in September and unfortunately miscarried quite early on. I've previously had surgery to remove a large dermoid cyst from one of my ovaries 8 years ago. So for the last year I have been trying to conceive and still nothing. I've been to my gp and had blood tests done to check if I'm ovulating each month and to see whether I have pcos. I had internal scans and an endometrioma was found on my right ovary. It's pretty small. I was refered back to gynae and had my appointment yesterday. The doctor has said I have to have a laparoscopy and dye test, hysteroscopy, biopsy of my endometrium and a cystectomy. It's been marked as urgent. I rang the admissions team today and they said it should be within 6-8 weeks. This is all just really getting me down. Everyone around me is pregnant and I'm struggling with my own problems. I'm happy for other people just a bit fed up with my own situation. So I can't be as happy as I'd like to be for them. My best friend struggled to tell me she's pregnant because she knows all the trouble I'm going through. I had a little cry and feel a bit better now. I just wonder how long I'm going to feel like this before I have my own happy news to share. I'm just getting so depressed with ttc and having what feels like set back after set back thrown at me. I'm not nervous about the procedures I just want them out the way and done with. Has anyone else experienced anything similar and have any advice. I'm at my wits end.

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RyvitaBrevis · 28/09/2018 21:28

Well, if my experience is anything to go by, you won’t always feel like this. It feels unbearable now, but you’ll start to come to terms with the news and the fact that things are not unfolding the way you want them to or as fast as you want them to. 6-8 weeks is not long to wait for the cystectomy at all! I had to wait on the list 5 months for mine, which was 10 months after it was diagnosed. Endometriosis is such a bummer but it’s also common and you might discover that there are more people you know who have gone through it than you think. If you find anyone who is a shoulder to cry on, take advantage of it. I didn’t have anyone other than my DH and I wish I had opened up about it more when I was at the lowest point.

It’s so hard to be happy for other people and time can help — time to cry and grieve for your hopes of it all being straightforward and then time to try to put things in perspective, and be grateful for the good things. Hopefully you won’t need to go through too much time waiting but if you have to, you are stronger than you think Flowers

London91 · 28/09/2018 21:43

Thank you. It's so hard feeling this resentful. I hate myself for it. Like you other than my partner I don't really have anyone to speak to. My sister is 8 months pregnant and my best friend is pregnant so the people I would go to, I can't because I feel like I just look like I'm being a jealous moo. It just feel like ttc has consumed my life. I don't really think about much else. They said given my previous surgery, they don't want to risk the cyst getting as large as the last one did.

Thank you. You have no idea how much you have helped. Good luck to you as well!

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