Irrational feeling that I'm too old to become a parent

[ViolaViolo]

This may be a bit of a rant, but I'm also wondering whether anyone else feels this way, whether it's normal...

I'm about to turn 36, and we've just started TTC. Balancing optimism and realism, I would hope to become pregnant/give birth while I'm 37; my husband will be 41/42 by then.

Almost all of our friends already had their kids a few years ago, and I live in an area where people seem to have kids in their late 20s-early 30s (north-east England - if anyone happens to know that I'm wrong on this I'd be glad to hear it!).

I think if I lived in London, or somewhere where older parents are the norm I wouldn't feel as I do, but as it is I keep getting these ridiculous clouds of doubt and despair that I've left it too late.

Rationally, I think we're at a great age to have kids - we're both still energetic and fit and have decent, stable jobs. But I worry that it's going to seem...odd that we're as old as we are, that we're going to struggle to make parenting friends because they'll be younger, and the kids won't get enough playdates as a result (yes, I do overthink things!).

I'm also quite sad that having kids at this age means that they won't get to spend as much time with our lovely parents, but obviously there's absolutely nothing I can do about that.

Basically, while I know I'm being irrational, because 36-38 isn't terribly old really, and anyway it's impossible to go back in time (and I wouldn't actually want to), I just keep getting hit with this feeling of sadness. Does anyone else have this feeling, or do you have any tips for getting rid of it? Telling myself to just not be ridiculous doesn't seem to help!

Hi, I can't say I know what you're going through as I just had my first at 31, but didn't want to read and run.
My mum didn't have me until she was 35 and then went on to have 2 more babies and has plenty of parent-friends from a time where it was much more the norm to have kids younger.
Also, i have made some great parenting friends of differing ages, the age difference doesn't matter because you have the common ground of being parents (obviously also helps to have shared interests, but that's not necessarily based on age either)
Try to stay positive, and not overthink things, and good luck with TTC :)

Had ds at 40. In my group of friends there are plenty of us around the same age. I had a very straightforward pregnancy. I wouldn't worry about it xx

OP in the nicest possible way you are overthinking. I'm from central London and had my two in my twenties. I was one of the younger parents but that didn't interfere with my DCs' socialising or anything like that. I'm sure you'll be fine.

I had my eldest when I was 21, through school and him playing football I've made close friends with lots of other mums. One of my very best friends is over 50 and we met through our boys becoming mates. They have since drifted apart now they have left school but we will always be friends

I had mine at 34 &
36 and I was around the norm, and younger than some. I have a number of friends who are 38 + and having a second or third. It’s perfectly normal and wouldn’t cross my mind to think they’re ‘too old’

Thanks all, I know it's daft I just can't shake this melancholy about it. It's good to hear about the age-difference friendships!