TTC and DH pulled out?!?!!

[Josico58]

I am so upset!

We're first cycle TTC and this morning my husband tries it on just as my alarm went off. As I'm in my fertile week I thought "hell, I can be 10 mins late for work!" so we DTD and then much to my surprise, he pulls out!!!!!

I was absolutely furious and also feel quite hurt. I asked him why the hell he did that and he shrugged it off, when I pulled him up on it before I left for work he said he's been making an effort to eat healthily and cut back on drinking to get himself in optimum health for concieving.... ??

I'm really upset about it and now feeling like perhaps this isn't what he wants. Also feel like I was massively duped into sex this morning thinkiing it was for something other than what it was, which from his POV is just some morning hanky panky.

AIBU? Is it bad that I feel like that was a complete waste of time. I still have 4 fertile days left in this cycle according to my app but I'm so angry that I don't even want to go near him now.

To me it says he doesn't want a baby.
I think you need another chat tonight. :(

Sounds like he's changed his mind tbh. But dtd just to conceive is no fun and will also put pressure on you both

It sounds like maybe the pressure of ttc is getting to him. My DH has a bit of a wobble at the beginning. Maybe he just freaked out before he came? I would talk to him tonight and just check he is happy to start ttc and if yes ask him why he pulled out this morning.
I would try not to get to angry with him as he may have very valid reasons and having a baby is a big deal. Good luck

he doesnt want to ttc

I am in the same boat as FlapJackered, my DH had second thoughts when we first started ttc. We talked about it, he admitted he was terrified and I stopped talking about the fw. We just BD'd when we wanted and hoped for the best. Then... AF arrived and he was as devastated as I was. The reaction was unexpected for both of us and really helped him decide that he really wanted it.

I know it is easy to say, but try and talk through it without being angry. You'll probably find he is just nervous. Good luck!

Literally sat at my desk unable to focus on my work because I'm feeling all sorts of angry and upset.

He's text me this morning saying he's sorry & he doesn't want me to think he doesn't want to start a family, he just wasn't aware of the only few fertile days per month (tbf I haven't really shared that kind of stuff with him as I didn't want to make it all clinical and pressurised.) He keeps talking about trying to get himself healthier to concieve, not really sure what thats all about... I suspect just an excuse.

Anyway, just feeling a bit sad now that our TTC journey has got off to a start like this instead of being exciting.

If he's just going to pull out then I could have saved myself the uncomfortable trip to the docs to have my UTI taken out.

Really sad & confused now.