Will I ever be a mum?

[Pratchy]

So this is my first ever post on Mumsnet and I'm just hoping to get some understanding and maybe clear my mind a bit on a few issues I have surrounding having a baby.

Apologies in advance for the rambling.

I married my soulmate in February and have always wanted to have children. However, my husband had a vasectomy over 10 years ago and although open to the possibility of having it reversed it is concerned about the pain and recovery and future contraceptive concerns. I cannot reasonably expect him to do something that he isnt comfortable with and I also feel like he made his choice years ago and it is unfair for me to expect him to change his mind. I knew this about him before I married him so feel like I need to just get on with things as they are and accept I wont have children.

We dont have the money needed for IVF and after suffering for years with my hormones I'm a little unsure about having my body pumped full of hormones.

We also dont have the space in our home for baby. We live in a 2 bed house and my 17 year old step-daughter lives with us. It is already a struggle for room when my 13 year old step-son comes to stay so trying to fit a baby into the mix seems impossible.

I am aware that I am making a lot of excuses not to have something that I want so terribly but I feel like there is too much is against us and I need to accept that I wont ever be mother. It breaks my heart but am I right in thinking this way? being sensible? rather than filling my head and my heart with hope to be disappointed later in life.

Has anyone else been through something similar?

Will I ever be a mum? Or do I need to accept now that I wont and get over it. How do you get over it?

I think with your current partner you may have to accept that bearing your own child won't be possible. I know a couple of ladies whose partners have had reversals and they haven't worked especially given 10 years has passed since it was done. In your circs IVF is likely your only option and even that isn't guaranteed as the same couple of ladies I know had several rounds between them and had no success. There are other alternative options such as donor sperm or adoption but having struggled to concieve myself I understand the yearning for the biological child of you and your partner and I very quickly decided that for us it was our own baby or no baby but not everyone's the same and you may feel differently. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Well I can't comment specifically about your situation but I am left wondering whether I'll ever be a mum. I am a step mum (none yet of my own). Have been trying for nearly 2 years and other half has two children from previous. I feel like it's never going to happen, that coupled with my other half having a diagnosis unrelated to ttc it does impact us. Also we've been told we don't qualify for IVF on the NHS anyway due to husband having children from previous. It's a s sad situation at the minute.

All I can suggest as with previous poster you may have to accept that biologically you may not be able to have a child with this man, but that doesn't mean he can't be a dad I'd suggest donor as an option possibly?