Immaculate conception?? Artificial insemination

[Hippychick78]

Hi

Im a bit overwhelmed to be honest but I really need some help. My husband and I would very much love to have a baby.

Him and I talked about this a while ago but life happened (my best friend died) and stuff like this just kind of faded away as life was just too stressful. He understands the general plan to get pregnant by insemination.

I've been very unwell and am turning 40 this year. We both agreed (before my friend died) that we would artificially inseminate due to the issues*.

Please advise me. How do we proceed with this. What materials do we use. I've googled and I'm petrified honestly... That's why I need you guys help.please be nice.. I'm genuine... Wee both are. Thank you so much

I mean this really gently.

I'm assuming that the 'issues' you talk about mean you and your DH aren't having sex. That's quite a big thing in most relationships?

I would think twice about bringing a baby into a relationship that isn't strong, and where you sound a bit fragile. A baby won't fix anything, it will make life harder.

I'd look at the fundamentals before you start buying turkey basters.

No no... We are steady... solid as a rock. He just doesn't ejaculate if we've got to be direct.

I know how crazy it may seem.

What does any of this have to do with the Immaculate Conception?
The Immaculate Conception does not refer to Christ being born without sexual intercourse. I suggest you google it.

Can a clinic obtain sperm from your husband? Even though he doesn't ejaculate, he still makes it.

Goodness I was being lighthearred

I didn't realise this was a lighthearted thread, thought you were being serious. So you're not really considering IVF? I may be a bit dense this morning but fail to see the humour.

If he doesn’t ejaculate, how will you be able to get his sperm to inseminate? I have read about others doing it an being successful. No tips to offer except do your research. I do have to agree with the op about a baby not fixing things and it does sound like you are in a fragile state.

It is possible for ivf clinics to harvest sperm from men who can't ejaculate. You could use this sperm for ivf or iui. You will not be able to use it yourself with a turkey baster.

Iui is cheaper but ivf is much more successful. At your age, I would very seriously consider ivf. But your husband needs to stay making lifestyle changes to ensure that that harvested sperm is good quality. Get him to do some research on the Fertility Friends forum.

I know there is a significant section of ivf patients who are there because sex isn't an option, not for fertility issues. So you wouldn't be the first couple the clinic had seen in your situation. Would you be able to fund ivf do you think?

Do you mean that he can't ejaculate when you are actually having sex? If so and he can finish when masturbating then surely the process should be quite simple. I would think a clean pot and a pipette of some kind would suffice.

Being blunt...at the age of 40 home insemination is v unlikely to be successful. If you are serious about wanting a baby then your best bet would be IVF, although the chance of success would still be slim.

@Hippychick78 I got the humour I don't have much advice to give but I wish you all the best. I'm a '78 girl too and we're trying normally at the moment, just charting and temping for the right times. If the activity is a struggle then have a chat with your doc about other options. I hope it goes well for you xx

Go to a clinic!

There are women on mumsnet who have done this successfully. Search for DIY self insemination.

You need a cup, a syringe or pipette and to keep the semen warm. Plus an ovulation kit to make sure you are doing this at the right time.

Getting started with a clinic takes a while. Wait for the appointment, do tests, wait for the start of the cycle...

The OP could do a lot of DIY in the meantime!

Boots do a stork kit.

I also got the humour. Would suggest you ignore the unhelpful posts.

Good luck

Could you not get him to masturbate and at the crucial moment get him to put it in or jump on? Sorry for being so crude, just a suggestion....or maybe someone here would have a reason why that wouldn't work. I'm not sure.

Yes storm whale you're bang on the money.

Please don't even judge my relationship as fragile as that's simply just not correct. How anyone could jump to that conclusion I've no idea seriously. We're very happily married. There's nothing in my post to suggest we're fragile. There's just a lot of pressure on the situation and dh and it's delicate. I was a bit tipsy last night so it gave me courage to post for help.

I genuinely appreciate the helpful replies.

Search the posts on here for home insemination. There is a fair amount of information. A few people on here have been successful. Pretty much all you need is a pot, a syringe and to track your cycle. There are a few sellers on eBay that sell home inseminaton kits. Good luck.

I can see why you would consider home inseminated - I have friends who are in a lesbian relationship try it with a private sperm donor for 6 months (no success) My understanding from them is chances of success are much reduced compared to just having sex as despite best efforts the sperm is effected by not "ahem" ?gojng straight up there?

Given you are 40, time is not in your side so if you are serious about having children my advice would be to go to a clinic and get their advice ASAP.

Good luck

Also you'll probably get more advice on this on the infertility forum or possibly donor conception

Assuming it's a psychological issue, has your husband had any counselling?

All you need is a sterile pot, 5-10ml syringe. Femme cup is optional as is pre-seed.

Once your OH produces the sample, keep it as warm as possible until you're ready to inseminate. Pop in a bit of pre seed, draw up the sample carefully and slowly, try and get rid of any air. It does liquify after ejaculation so be careful. Pop a bit of pre seed on end of syringe and insert and release slowly. Pillow under bum so your hips are tilted. Leave syringe in place for a minute, keeping hips tilted and then remove. Optional to orgasm after insemination. Easier said than done in that clinical situation.

Nothing to add to the practical advice already given, but both of mine were conceived this way. DC1 took three months, DC2 was first time lucky. Good luck!

@Hippychick78 I think there is a kit called the stork. You could look in to that x