Uncertainty surrounding parentage

[Dam0]

I'd really appreciate any insight that may shed some light on a current situation whereby my previous Partner who had planned to get pregnant and had a personality disorder called APD told me she thought she was pregnant but had decided she didn't want to be in a relationship. (We had been trying to conceive and had regular unprotected intercourse the previous week) A few days later that week she asked me to meet her and although she thought she might have come on she stated it wasn't the same as normal and to bring a pregnancy test which I did then she claimed she wasn't pregnant and we should be friends. I was heartbroken but accepted her wishes. Several weeks later she told me that she was pregnant but I wasn't the father as she had slept with someone once and he apparently didn't want to know or have any involvement.
I asked when she became pregnant and she said it was in June since her LMP she gave was when we broke up 2 weeks previously in mid may. I wondered if she could of mislead me into thinking I wasn't the father but she was adamant infact claimed to have taken a further test a week later that was after we both broke up and it was also negative.
However, after meeting her just before her 12 week scan which was 11w 4days approximately just under 11 weeks she appeared very noticeably pregnant. I never saw her again and had her friend who was suspicious of this story too that she had given birth around 11 days prior to her due date which I believed was also strange as she gave birth to a 9lb6oz baby. Refuting my request to have a paternity test we no longer talked as she won't speak to me. I tried to get a court paternity test but she never turned up once even when the courts sent a official to serve a order that she should attend.
I then saw a couple of scan photos on her mothers wall which made me question myself as although noing nothing about scans the scan showed a 11w4 GA however the second 20 week scan had the information absured by a cut out bear obscuring the information. I wondered now and cancelled the court proceedings. My question is thus: would the GA be what she told them the LMP was and as I had no idea of the other information on screen including the Measurements I wondered whether if I uploaded a scan photo would this reveal whether the foetus was 11w4 or 13w4 or would this be able to be determined without measurements by the eye? Sorry for the lack of punctuation.

As far as I know, although they ask you when your LMP was, they don’t use this to date your scans.

The scans use measurements to approximately date the foetus.

For instance my daughter had no idea when her LMP was but the scan showed she was approximately 11w plus 4 days. It’s just a rough estimation give or take a day or two because at that stage in pregnancy most healthy foetuses grow averagely the same.

In regards to the babies weight, she may well of just been going to be a big baby. My grandmother had a 13lb baby at full term.

Also for me, I would find it difficult to tell the difference between an 11wk and 13wk ultrasound.

Hopefully someone else might be along who can help.

I wouldn't go off weight . I had an 8lb9 baby three weeks early . And a 9lb10 one at 38 weeks . My 41 weeker was 10lb12 so maybe she just had a big baby !

Ultrasounds don't go off lmp , the measure the fetus and are accurate to within a few days .

I believe you are not telling us the full story here...no one would want to bring up a child without a father unless the father was an awful person. If you were the father, why would she lie?

Why would her family support her when she denies you a paternity test if you are paying for it? I think she's probably telling the truth.

Also, a birth 11 days early is completely normal and that weight is not "suspicious".

Maybe so. I dropped the Court process after seeing the details of the scan photo I hadn't seen before. I only had a photo that she gave me after the scan which did not show the all important GA on the top left printed which said 11w 4. The reason I asked this forum was after that I never heard from her again although her friend who spoke of her had described her actions as often bizarre approaching confusing and frequently deceptive as she knew her very well in that she found the proposition that the incident of conception from a single incounter from the absent father who wasn't interested in being involved and offered her adviwhich was to ask for a paternity test to which I did in December and was promptly blocked. When the child was born I asked again to which she explained that I couldn't possibly be the father as she had taken a test a week after we broke up to make sure and it was negative so I definitely wasn't the father and it even looked like him. The decision after her repeatedly not attending court and then being summoned was mine after seeing the scan photos in her mother baby diary. But I was prompted to write this post as I was advised that the technician preprogram the GA on the left by what they are told the LMP was. So unsure I thought I would clear it up by my post. Thanks for your help in this.
My curiosity has arisen provoked from being aware that avoidants can sometimes hide information pertaining to situations that may cause embarrassment and know she had told her parents I was around 10 years younger than my actual age and had she had ommited the fact that she was actively trying to conceive and was already shopping for items in preparation. The photos in her mother baby book showed her supposed best platonic friend was labelled as Daddy.
I therefore thought it might be prudent to ask.

I also was a little bit confused about the dating process at first as subtraction of the 2 weeks and as she said she conceived by mistake in June and then had her first scan at the beginning of August making it less that 8 weeks plus 2 weeks give or take a few days. However believe now that this makes sense as a foetus might grow at varying rates. To dismiss uncertainty and clear this up for good I needed a clearer picture as you may or may not suggest further persual I however could see the need for advice seeing as all the evidence I could see was what I was told and there were factors there which beloved I might of overlooked and had convinced myself Eye colour, hair colour and certain resemblances of the now 1 year old and very harsh nature and wording of her break up text which included that she was prepared to have the suspected pregnancy a mere 2 weeks previous to falling pregnant by such a irresponsible, mysterious, unknown and absent father had distressed me.

I think there is enough uncertainty here that you need a clear answer. I don't think you can really truly rule out you being the father when you had unprotected sex with her within only a month or so of the claimed conception date, especially not when you were both specifically trying for a baby. No analysis of weight or dates is really going to be good enough to reassure you for certain.

You are totally reasonable to request a paternity test and she should be compelled to provide one. Please pursue this. You won't have peace of mind without it and every child deserves to know who its father is.

Just an update I asked her politely to consider a simple DNA test via a social media message to which I was swiftly ignored and blocked again. I would also like to ask which is more likely to happen if there are any sonographers out there if it is more likely the GA in the left would be accurate to read 11w.4 to coincide with LMP at 10w +- 1-4 days and complete refusal to acknowledge a 13w + as can't understand why she explicitly denied any plausibility despite claiming she took a further test which I am not sure whether to believe a few days after her believed but abnormal LMP? Is this left hand LMP the actual read out based on CTR or is there intact a calculated figure that is read out at the end as was completely blocked and ghosted after the scan which was Two Months later. I had only her word and so many questions in my head as no mention of the absent allusive and possibly fictitious (according to her close friend) Father who appeared in the dialog after (although claiming happened once) had never been mentioned to me or her friends nor family and me asking if she had gone back on contraception and claiming she hadn't slept with anybody but later claiming she had two weeks later. Is this behavior suspect or just likely considering a very severe emotional mood disorder such as avoidant detachment disorder and other mental health issues where by she admitted I didn't comprehend the extent. It seemed so strange but almost like I was being led into this as she had already obtained and been to various baby shops and her somewhat odd break up something her own words reflected a determination to split and break up in one suprise message as mentioned previously?

The child has a right to know who their father is (even if their father is a total arsehole - not saying you are but I'm fed up with some mums deciding to keep information from children and dads because they can).
I would print off and keep all the attempts you have made to establish paternity.

There could come a time where the child turns up seeking answers (probably having been told that their dad knew and didn't bother etc etc). If you have the file then it's all there should it happen.

Thanks I am doing this as you suggest. Seeing as my agenda is to empart more than DNA and to realise to my best ability for his well-being yes. I have seemingly been disregarded and left to feel as so superfluous and unimportant as to not justify clarification nor as I quote acceptance of her rationale: "The father is not involved. It was just a big mistake. I feel so hurt my son will grow up without a father(And never even acknowledged me with a single reply. Oh well he was just Spermdonor anyway."
I hope he realises one day and feels one of the other possibilities were that to some others too they had hoped for right thing, did the best he could and realised he would have of been forgiven if he thought it was realistic to believe.