Feeling like I'm the only one! Need some support

[webster144]

I've been on Mumsnet for the last year since I fell pregnant last September and unfortunately mc at 5 weeks. We've been trying for 9-10 months since now with not even a hint of a positive, some months I've thought I am with feeling all symptoms under the sun and then when AF comes and hits me I feel so deflated.
My husband and I are just recently married, both mid 20s and fairly healthy and active. Neither of us drink or smoke, have been trying to do everything we've researched like eating healthier and drinking more water and taking multi vits etc.
I've been using opks for pretty much the whole time we've been ttc (clearblue advanced digital) which has been great as I've been able to pinpoint ovulation and know it's happening. I feel like we've been doing everything right and I'm panicking that something is wrong with either of us as all I seen to come across online is all these forums with 25 year olds saying they fell pregnant within the first month or two which is making me feel broken.
I'm just feeling so down and like a failure as today AF has hit me again after another month of trying where I was so sure we'd done everything right and it was going to happen!
Just feeling rough today and needing some support, any ladies similar ages to me have any positive stories or even experiences on how long it took them to conceive #1?
Anything I should try (apart from relax - I hate how often I hear that!)
Ps. I appreciate their is many women and couples out there who have been ttc for many more months and even years than I have, just sharing my experience and needing some support.

Thanks so much x

It’s totally normal for it to take up to a year. People who fall pregnant immediately may be more likely to talk about it than people who are struggling.

I know this is going to sound like telling you to relax, but how would you feel about doing one cycle without the OPKs? Are you regular enough that you have an idea of when to time things?

@Kescilly you may be right, I feel like all I'm reading is about how easy it has been for people my age group to fall pregnant, also doesn't help I have a few friends falling pregnant easily too or by accident 🙄

I'm pretty regular, a 28-29 cycle with ovulation happening usually around cd13-15 as of recent months. I have the flo app but I feel it's sometimes a little out...maybe you might be right but I'm only worried I don't hit O and miss it?

The thing with opks is they only tell you you’re getting the hormone surge that proceeds ovulation- there’s no guarantee that you then in fact ovulate. You need to confirm this by taking your basal body temperature throughout your cycle as well.

Are you checking your cervical mucus?

@SmurfandTurf I know that opks just tell you before hand, I did buy a basal thermometer but feel I haven't been committed enough as I work funny hours and always forget! We've also been trying SMEP the last few months and really trying our best within the fertile window and nothing...
I unfortunately don't get a lot of fertile CM around that time so we've been using pre-seed too.

Feel like we're trying everything! 😧

Have a research into ovusense- it's a vaginal thermometer and is great as it takes the stress out of temping orally and is very accurate. It's an American based device.

I've been TTC #1 for nearly a year- I'm 28, healthy etc but nothing. I've had bloods done and I know I ovulate late in my cycle with a short luteal phase phase of between 4-8 days. I've had an ultrasound which showed everything was normal and I don't have PCOS.

Been referred to a fertility specialist today and I'm hoping to get prescribed clomid to enhance ovulation and hyper stimulate my ovaries,

I too am fed up of being saying relax and chill out. I've known for a while something isn't right through tracking etc and had to wait a year to get this referral. Xx

I'm 30 and have been trying 18 months, with 2 miscarriages about 8 and 10 months ago.

Do try measuring bbt, so you know for sure that you're ovulating. Also try drinking grapefruit juice, I get noticeably more CM if I drink one glass per day. Other than that no advice. I've not worked out the trick to it yet!

The waiting is frustrating and shit, and every time I get my period I curse the high school sex ed teachers who led me to believe even looking at a willy will get you up-duffed.

Sorry its been a tough journey for you, but try not to take all these stories to heart. It's true, that people tend to be much more open about their positive stories, than sharing the hell that they may have gone through. I have a friend who has been ttc for 2 years, mid 20s and she is the fittest, healthiest person I know. It's just not happened for her and its rough.
There's no knowing why some people conceive quicker than others, just like first time can be long and 2nd can be immediate.
You're clearly doing all the right things and hopefully you'll get the positive news you deserve soon.

I totally understand how you feel. I am 27 and have been TTC for 11 months now. Had 2 early miscarriages in that time, last one was 5 months ago. TTC can be so shit and unfair in that even if you are young, healthy and doing all the right things it can take way longer than people who aren't. It feels massively unfair and the only thing I can add to what has already been said is to just let yourself feel however you feel day to day. I used to feel awful about being incredibly jealous when seeing yet another pregnant belly - the only thing that has helped with that is stopping beating myself up for feeling jealous. TTC can be a long hard road especially if you've had losses or it's taking a long time, so be kind to yourself. And come over to the TTC after pregnancy loss thread, we're a friendly and supportive bunch X

@webster144 I completely understand what you are feeling. I have been diagnosed with subfertikity after not getting pregnant for over a year. I have been put on clomid because my body doesn't appear to ovuulate on its own. I got a positive opk on 2nd sept so we BD alot around the time. Done a frer this morning and negative I was so sure this month would be the month I even thought I felt differently just lately. I'm so disheartened and deflated and feel like I'm never going to make my little girls dreams come true of having a bro or sister

My gran took two years to conceive then she popped out 5 one after the other. Im on cycle 9 now. But i still think it will happen within two years and im sure it will happen soon for you!

OP i feel u 100% being told to relax is infuriating ive been ttc for3yrs @PretendItsAPlan yh these sex ed teachers have got a lot to answer for!

Sorry @HoldTightPretendItsAPlan lol

Wondered why i was being tagged on the conception board lol

@Pretenditsaplan sorree what r the odds eh lol didnt mean to confuse haha

No worries have a good night x