Hi everyone,
My ttc journey started 19 months ago now. I was full of hope and positivity. Every cycle (for the first 10ish months) I symptom spotted through the whole tww. I waited until AF was due, I would POAS.... every time it was a BFN.
I tried changing my diet, to be less stressed, took folic acid and the pre conception vitamins. And still nothing happened. I stopped focusing on ttc, deleted my apps, didn’t have a clue about fw or symptoms, and still nothing.
My last cycle was the closest to feeling like it could be my time, I was 2 weeks late and refused to POAS as my heart has been slowly broken by this whole process. Eventually my DH talked some sense into me and I POAS.... negative and AF showed up the next day.
My DH has been so supportive but as he already has a DD from his first marriage, he isn’t worried at all that it’s taking so long. We live overseas and my DH is from a culture where people expect a baby as soon as you’re married, so all day everyday I am fielding questions like ‘why haven’t you got a baby? Why don’t you want a baby? Why are you taking the pill? (I’m obviously not,)
I’ve got to the stage now where I feel like I’m about to give up. I’ve gone past the hopeful stage, the crazy why not me stage, the forget about it and just enjoy stage. And now just feel like that’s it..... I’m done. I can’t do it anymore.
I don’t even know what I am looking for in this post.... positive stories, hope. All the mnetters I started my journey with (and became very close to off the site) have now got babies and are ttc number 2 and I feel like they are getting fed up of me. Also, we have decided, as a couple not to go down the testing route, as I don’t think I’m strong enough and we don’t want to become so obsessed with it all that it destroys us. My friends don’t understand that either.
Thanks for listening
Oh and for info- I’m 29 and DH is 33.