How old is too old?

[Ngib80]

Hi I'm 37 almost 38 my oh is 47 we have 3 boys who are 16,12 and 8 and I would love another however oh thinks we are too old. Just wondered what other people thoughts were on this am I being selfish and should be happy with my lot?

Hi no not at all 37 is a good age you can have kids well Into your 40's if your up to the challenge of a baby again I would say go for it :) you've nothing to lose

I think that’s fine, plenty of people don’t have their first until then, I really wouldn’t worry about age if you both want another child.

I have an old dad... he was always the oldest dad... I was born when he was 42. The sad thing is he is now late 70s and I'm pregnant with my first. I am worried about my child(REN) if we manage to have any more... not knowing or remembering him...

I hated that I didn't have grandparents anymore after the age of 14, but at least I got to know two of them a bit?? (Grandfathers died before I was born and when I was five).

Sorry to be morbid...

I wouldn't say you are too old. Can see why at 47 he doesn't want to be still changing nappies though!

I had my first at 38!

I've never had grandparents. I don't feel I've missed out on anything. My DD has 2 grandparents, both live miles away so she never sees than. Having/ not having grandparents didn't even come into the equation when I had DD at 42. At 37 you're definitely not to old for a baby.

I had a ds at 37 and at 43!!
Go for it!!

Absolutely you are not too old, biologically speaking. But if you’re OH feels he’s done and you have 3 already then I think you would be selfish to keep pushing it. Nothing to do with your age though.

I don’t think you are too old but it is unfair to ask it of your dh. He’s given you a beai3 Children family and now he wants to slow down.
You’ll get to be a doting Granny in a while, but why not just enjoy your easier baby free life for a few years?

You’re definitely not too old. I’d worry more about the gap and that your youngest may feel lonely. There are 16 years between my brother and I and although we love each other, it wasn’t until I was an adult that we had a close relationship, and it’s not particularly sibling like because we didn’t grow up together. Trying to find activities that are acceptable to an 11yo and a 3yo might be hard work too.

My parents were 39 & 40 when they had me, my brother became a first time parent at 47, and I was 40 when I had my one and only, so you are a positive spring chicken in comparison.

The grandparents aspect that a pp mentions is worth considering. Not so much not knowing them (I only knew one of mine, but didn’t feel the loss particularly), but about possibly balancing the needs of aging parents with the needs of a young child. My parents are now in their eighties (and still going fairly strong) and I have a 3yo so I think the next five years or so are going to be quite demanding for me personally. Hopefully my dd might break the cycle and pop out some kids in her twenties!

I think yearning for another baby in your late thirties is fairly common, probably hormonally driven. But really, when all your kids are getting independent and you’re a world away from nappies, sleepless nights, soft play etc etc, do you honestly want to reset the clock again?

Only too old if you feel too old.

I'm 40, OH 63. He's so excited. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to be happening for us at the moment. I think it's because of me, not him.

Honestly i think you are pushing it slightly and your husband is too old. I don't understand this trend of having your first child at 38/39/40+. I think it's kind of selfish, your child will be embarrassed that they have old parents, you may not be able to do as much with them, they probably won't have grandparents, by the time they have kids you'll be too old to help. Be happy with what you have and be glad you started having kids young, just think how much you'll be able to do with your grandchildren as you won't be too old.

Why would you want to go back to the baby stage when your eldest is 16? You'll be approaching the time to have more freedom as the kids grow up.

If you have the time and energy required to run after a toddler and keep up with school work and activities etc then you're not old. You're only as old as you feel.

How incredibly rude @Whenwillitstop1!!

I was 38 when I had DS. Because I didn't meet DH until I was 32 (oh how selfish of me to want to wait for a good loyal man to be the father of my child!) we dated, married and .. oh it turns out we had fertility problems and it took another 4 years. Our child is incredibly loved and happy. As it happens I often work within the family court system and let me tell you we are doing a much better job than some people who had their kids in their 20's. Selfishness has NOTHING to do with age.

What a rude, short sighted point of view!

Why not just be happy with the three you have, your husband obviously is and it isn't fair to push him into having another just because you are feeling broody. You'll get over it and be glad! What a good time you and husband will have in the future with no babies in tow.

I think there are 2 queries in your situation.
Are you too old to be parents? absolutely not if you both want it. But it sounds like DH is not so keen.
The second issue is having a 4th child so much younger than their siblings. TBH I think that would be a more difficult decision for me. It can be very difficult for 1 child to have such a different experience from their siblings.