The never ending miscarriage

[DollyDaydreamz]

Hi I’m looking for anyone going through this hell!

So started to bleed at exactly 9weeks had scan at EPAU and measurements showed 6 week sac but no baby. Had to wait 2 weeks for second scan to confirm miscarriage. At this scan they saw a fetal pole and sac had grown but still way behind dates. They decided I needed to wait another week for a third scan. This scan showed no pole / heartbeat so they gave us the options of continued wait / medical or surgical management. We opted for surgery as all the waiting was doing me in. I woke up from surgery and knew it was way later in day than it should have been. No doctor would talk to us they said senior consultant would talk to us when he was back (we literally waited all day!). We were told they had perforated my uterus I had laparoscopy to repair but they couldn’t do the d n c - joy! To add to the sheer hell was also told i had a small cyst close to my right ovary (but they couldn’t remove as they didn’t have permission for this!) I had to return for a scan in 1 week. Sac still intact - decided to wait as I couldn’t face surgery again. I’m back today (2 weeks later for scan) - sac still intact and more joy cyst has doubled in size. This time consultant has advised medical management but because of the difficulties / their bodged surgery?! they want to keep me in overnight after having pessary to monitor me.

This has literally been ongoing since 9th June! Anyone else had to endure a heartbreakingly long miscarriage? Also anyone ttc after uterine perforations?

This is so depressing should be 16weeks pregnant today 😢

@DollyDaydreamz I have not gone through the suffering that you are currently enduring but just wanted to message to say that I am thinking of you and hope that you are on the road to recovery very very soon. I had an MMC in April, I was 11 weeks pregnant but heart beat stopped at about 8 or 9. We were devastated. I couldn't deal with the waiting and found it easier to cope with a surgical procedure mentally so opted for a d and c. I am still dealing with the mental scars of a miscarriage but to combine that with the physical trauma and stress that you are facing I just can't imagine it. I want to say you should sue the a** off the hospital but I know that may come across totally inappropriate and probably not what you can deal with right now but I really believe this should not have happened to you. Xxx

No advice sorry. You really have been through hell. I hope it starts turning a corner for you

Dolly. So sorry to read you are going through so much. How awful to come round from the operation to be told that news. Although I haven’t experienced what you have I have had a very long and drawn out loss. My son was still born in December and I was still bleeding 6 weeks later. Various scans later showed I had retained placenta. So I opted for medical management. Went to the hospital where they inserted the tablets, only for them to fall out 2 hours later when I went to the toilet. “Oh these things happen” the nurse said.

So 2 weeks after that I had a D&C. 3 weeks later I will still bleeding with positive tests so needed another D&C.

All in all it was 4 months after my son’s birth that I stopped bleeding and things got back to normal. It really really doesn’t help with the grieving process when your body is still not physically right.

I really hope your medical management works.

@Newbie21 @BlueSky198080 @BeyondHope Thank you all for your kind replies and I am sorry for your losses. I really feel let down by the hospital for the errors in treatment that have drawn out the process even further. Currently had 3 lots of medication and not so much as a spot of blood 😢 they are keeping me overnight again and guess I will end up in surgery again (though this time with a consultant and they will use ultrasound for guidance!) I don’t supposed there is anyone who has wished harder got bleeding to start and this to be over but my body seems determined to hang on to this tissue. Unfortunately when you sign consent forms they warn of perforated uterus (1in 1000 chance - I’m genuinely that unlucky or my registrar that incompetent?!) so nothing but an apology from hospital and being told by consultant who fixed the problem it’s only second time he has seen it happen in his 16year career (I wanted to punch him in the face at this point!). So the long wait continues. Ladies do you have any thought on ttc again after your losses? We were originally told we should ideally wait a year for healing (I nearly died!) took us 7 months to fall and I have just turned 34 😢

I'm sorry, that sounds awful.

I had a missed miscarriage May of last year at around 8 weeks, I started bleeding at 6 weeks but there was a heartbeat, bled heavily and still a heartbeat, then stopped bleeding but was scheduled for a reassurance scan that showed heartbeat had stopped.

Had surgery the following day, no problems, but bleeding went on for about another six weeks. So I really feel you on thinking it was never ending but your experience is so much worse.

In our case, we started ttc immediately and I got pregnant again in January, currently 34 weeks. I don't know if you might need more time to heal after the perforation but in retrospect I think my body needed a few cycles after the bleeding stopped. I was also 34, 35 now and all is well with baby: we were trying for 14 months all in (either side of miscarriage) and while it was terrible at the time my focus is now entirely on the baby.

I really hope all goes well for you now. Could PALS help re: getting further info on why the perforation occurred and its effects?

@DollyDaydreamz I was advised to wait 2 cycles before trying again to allow the lining to regenerate otherwise there was a risk of placenta issues (I can't remember what it is called but it is where the placenta is stuck to the uterus wall) which could have resulted in complications on childbirth. The consultant said it didn't pose a risk to the baby but would possibly mean needing a c section or surgery. In any case, we decided to wait. Definitely ensure that you are given reasons for any wait in TTC and if you want a second opinion then you should see about getting it.

I don't suppose you have medical insurance from your employer (if you work)? If you do, I know maternity stuff isn't usually covered but if you have any retained tissue following a miscarriage it often is covered so worth checking if this is available to you, people often assume it isn't covered so do not check. I only mention in case you want a second opinion on any treatment etc.

@DollyDaydreamz I am so sorry to hear of your loss and this terrible drawn out process. You have been horribly unlucky and it sounds like the hospital, although well intentioned, have been less than helpful. I really feel for you.

After my MC in June (and ERPC) we were told we didn't need to wait - but it was helpful for dating. Was the year to do with the perforation? I'd be devastated to be told to wait that long and combined with your loss must leave you very low.

In the meantime is there another hospital in your area? TBH you should be getting the VIP service at your hospital now. To the extent you can, you or your DP, need to really advocate for yourselves (I know it's not that easy in practice). They owe you a sit down with the consultant to talk through what has happened, what it means, and what you should do next. Sending you strength at this difficult time. You will get through it. You will get your baby.

Thanks for the support. Just had a visit from registrar who cocked up the d n c. I looked at him and suddenly realised he was also the man that delivered our first DD by emergency C Sec at 32weeks cord wrapped round neck but he saved her life (same hospital only nearly 3 years on!) Very weird feeling want to hug him n punch him in the face att at the same time. Bit of an emotional evening (on top of everything else!) just seems a strange turn of fate. Been diagnosed with PTSD today and feel like I’m totally numb to everything - meeting with head consultant at ward rounds again tomorrow to find out plan d? I’ve lost count now 😩

@reddressblueshoes so lovely to hear a positive after mmc I’m so happy that all is going well this time round. Good luck and enjoy the rest of the pregnancy x

@wouldthatbeworse unfortunately no private med (not on my teacher salary!) have a second opinion from senior consultant that said wait till “normal” cycle resumes before ttc so that’s all terribly contradictory - he even said within gynaecology there is no consensus on how long to wait (I’m going with him though!) A year would seem a lifetime although at the moment don’t think I could face prospect of going through this heartache again