Do all the stats around conception >35 worry you unnecessarily?

[Beaubeagle]

I’m 36 and in my 2nd cycle to ttc DC4. I have 3DC and my DH has 2DC from previous relationships. This would be our first/only DC together.

I had my first 3DC easily at 20, 24 & 28. Now I’m 36 and all of the reading/research basically says it’s almost a hopeless cause. Especially as my DH is 42. It appears that between us, the odds of having a healthy egg and sperm are tiny. Then, even if we do magically manage to conceive, our odds of MC are really high too.

In reality I know everyone is different, but I’m finding it really worrying and discouraging. I do know many parents that have successfully had DC later in life and I don’t feel ‘old’ by any stretch of the imagination. I just find it hard to read all these things. Am I alone in this?

As a side note, I know chromosomal abnormalities increase with age, but I had a DC with Down syndrome at 24, so I know it’s a lottery anyway.

I don't know what stats you've been reading but the chances of conception at 36 are vvvv far from tiny or hopeless, especially if you both already have children! Anecdotally, almost all my friends from NCT and baby groups had kids easily over 35, including me. In fact though it took 10 months to conceive dc2 at age 32, it took only one for dc3 at 37. Do you live somewhere where most people have kids young? That would skew your perspective I think. Honestly, you are worrying over absolutely nothing.

I’m not worrying at all (far too early days for that). It’s just if you google ttc >35 everything that comes up is so negative. I just think it’s really discouraging for us of ‘advanced maternal age’.

I don’t live somewhere where people have babies especially young and I’m not allowing my perspectives to be skewed, I’m just commenting broadly on all of the negative ‘research’ out there. Nothing I’ve read yet on conceiving over 35 has been remotely positive.

I let the "stats" worry me at age 36 and conceived second cycle, and first cycle at age 38. Pretty sure the 35-fertility-drops-off-a-cliff stuff is based on some 18th/19th century French research. I should've done more reading!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24128176

Yes sure your chances go down with age, generally speaking, but the idea that conception after 35 is 'magical' or a hopeless cause, especially if you already have kids, is just not borne out by any of the research out there.

I'm 37 and just found out that I am pregnant with an unexpected 4th. My other 3 dc were all conceived on the first or second cycle. The consultant I was under during my second pregnancy called me ' an older mother' and I was 35.😂. I know far more parents over 35 and few had fertility problems, but agree all you hear is over 35 equates to being past it, fertility issues or doom and gloom.

Congratulations @NatureGal
As I said, I’m not worried. It just makes depressing reading. I’m remaining optimistic though that I’ve not dried up completely! 😂