When would you give up ttc #2?

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Just that really. I recently turned 41 and just had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. I know miscarriages are often because of chromosomal problems - and these increase with age. I don’t know whether to keep trying or learn to be happy with only one DC. I had my first DC aged 39.5 with no problems, and got pregnant on the third month of trying, so I don’t know if that was a fluke or perhaps my DC was my last good egg!

I recently had fertility tests done (ironically just before I fell pregnant with the lost pregnancy), and my results were:

FSH 8.5
AMH 3.1
LH 5.9
TSH 0.07

Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me?

Sorry, I don’t know what the test results mean. But how is fertility in your family? That’s a good indicator if you can conceive later. My friends mom had her 5th age 43. Another friend I know conceived with twins using IVF and doner eggs plus husbands sperm at 40. And another person I know had one at 38 and wasn’t able to get pregnant again and now is 44 and gave up. Every person is different. I would try for another year or two. You never know. But if it gets too hard you might think of other options like using a doner egg.

Thanks Mamabear12 my mum had my younger brother in her late 30s and I don’t really have any other older female relatives to compare to. I don’t think we’d go down the IVF/donor egg route, mostly because success isn’t guaranteed and I’ve seen a good friend’s marriage reach breaking point due to the stresses of failed fertility treatment. I wish I had a crystal ball that would tell me whether to keep trying or give up!

Anyone else have any words of wisdom? x

It's a very personal thing and very individual with so many variables.
Miscarriage is painful, multiple miscarriage is torture, with a high risk of miscarriage I suppose you need to ask yourself if you will cope if it happens over and over.

We gave up when I was 42 after 7 miscarriages. The experts had said that they had no answers but that chromosomal issues was highly likely.
We had a healthy child already (loads of issues and a few miscarriages before we got him).
I was ready mentally & physically to stop. As was dh. I couldn't face another tub of folic fucking acid, I had been taking it for 10 bastard years!!!

Anyhoo, I got the pill, waited for the first day of my period... it never came.
Ended up having little ds at age 43 with a 10 year gap between kids.

Give up if it feels right for you. Xx

Your tsh is on the low side, which isn't a problem for conception generally (high tsh needs to be avoided when ttc). You might notice sweats, losing weight, inability to concentrate?

Your fsh is good but amh low, which may be an indication of decreasing ovarian reserve. Amh is really only useful for indicating how your ovaries may respond to ivf drugs... so I'm not sure why you had these tests with 3 months ttc??

It's totally up to you. There's a lot of unknown with fertility - you might not get pregnant again, you may miscarry again, or you might have a full term pregnancy.

I'm very sorry for your loss. You're correct about the likely cause...

Don't give up. You're only 41!:) You're not alone. I started asking myself the same question. I'm 43 with a 14 month old and had a miscarriage when he was 9 months. It really does hit you hard when it feels like your last chance, but I won't give up. I want a DC2 so much! Are you taking Ubiquinol? Get that into your body as it really boosts egg quality (when taken for 3 months plus).

@physicskate Thanks for the info. I had the fertility tests done before I fell pregnant the second time (which I miscarried at 9 weeks). As I was over 35 the GP did the tests after we’d been trying for 7 months, then I fell pregnant at 8 months. Sadly I’m not experiencing any weight loss - just the opposite in fact! Thanks again for your advice.

@crosser62 I’m sorry you had such a hard time, I can’t imagine how awful it must have been. I’m so glad to hear you had your second DC in the end though.

@PetraRabbit Oh no sorry you had a miscarriage too. I actually just ordered some ubiquinol from Amazon, so will start taking that. Fingers crossed we both get our #2 :)

Sorry- I'd read it as you fell pregnant on the third month for the second pregnancy... doh! My reading too quickly!!

Good luck with whatever you do decide!!

To decision as to whether or not you keep trying is such a personal one that only you can make.

I have a 4 year old, conceived first month of trying. Since then I have had 5 miscarriages and a baby boy who was born sleeping last December. I vowed then that I would stop. I couldn’t take the pain any more and the person is was turning me into.

But 7 months down the line I had a change of heart. The pain was less raw and my desire for another baby was still there. I think you need to decide what is your overriding feeling. That you can’t take the pain and stress anymore or that you want to keep trying because the thought of another baby overrides it all.

It’s so personal. I hope you find your answer and I’m so sorry for your loss.

@BeyondHope thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your losses, you have had a devastating time. I hope things are feeling brighter now. Like you I do have an overriding feeling for another baby, so I’ll keep trying. Thank you xx

@physicskate no worries - I often read things too fast too! x

Don't give up.

I was late teen with my first, 2 miscarriages after, I had 2nd baby 5 years later. I fell pregnant again just after 4 years and miscarried again. I fell pregnant 6-7 months later with baby no.3.

I know it's difficult but try again.

Similar situation happened with my sil also.