Starting to TTC

[CryingIntoMyBreakfast]

I've name changed.

I'm really upset right now. And I'm not sure whether this is the right place for this. So sorry if it's not appropriate.

I've known my OH for a long long time. Been together 3 years. Very happy together. He's my best friend.

Initially he said he'd always wanted a kid (when we were friends). Then as things developed, he changed to saying he'd never been sure. I think this was nerves. And has since gone back and forth a little, between wanting and being worried about how much it'll change our life's (I thought this was natural, and I've been the same).

We've discussed having kids many times in our relationship.

18 months ago he sat me down and said he wanted us to TTC once we'd moved house.

Basically we moved but we didn't feel the time was right. Waiting for a big life event to be out of the way and decided we'd try after.

Said event has happened. I mentioned stopping my pill. He was so excited and happy. (Conversations around TTC are normally led by him, so he was very happy for me to be taking the lead).

So since I've come off the pill we haven't had sex. He's done all he can to avoid it. I feel so rejected. And hurt.

We've spoken about it. He's nervous about how it will change our lives. (though everything is clearly still working!) but says he still wants TTC.. but rejects me every time.

Show him the statistics on how unlikely pregnancy is in a given cycle. My dh was terrified and thought it would happen instantly and that you could get pregnant any time in a cycle.

It took us over two years and a round of ivf for unexplained infertility.

I think telling him that it might not happen 1st cycle might not necessarily be true. I told my husband that, as I read it could take a year. Was pregnant first month, and he was shell shocked.
I think you need to try and take the pressure off, not that your applying it! Keep trying to talk and talk. Until you get to the bottom of it. Such mixed messages for you, must be so hard.
Your best friends you can work this out. It may not happen 1st try but it might.

70% it won't happen first cycle. Ok, you could be one of the 30%... but again, 70% you won't get pregnant in the first cycle.

Thank you ladies.

We did lots and lots of talking yesterday. He's clearly very excited and a little nervous. I never expected him to be this way. But it's lovely hearing how excited he is!

Sorry if TMI, but finally DTD (sorry,not sorry!)