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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

how does your dh react if your af is late?

43 replies

wannaBe · 04/06/2007 09:12

have been ttc for just over two years. Are not actively trying any more iyswim, as dh was diagnosed with low sperm count last August so we kind of resigned ourselves to the fact it probably won't happen, even though gp said that dh is not infertile but has "limited fertility". But we are generally still active around the right times of the month, we just don't do the "gotta do it to get pregnant" thing any more.

Anyway, I am now two days late. Normally when my period is due I have some spotting on the day it's due, then this stops and I get full on af a couple of days later. But so far this month there's been nothing. Also had sore boobs until yesterday, which is normally a sign of impending af but these too have now disappeared but boobs have increased in size and nipples are erect. Not simptom spotting, am sure I'm not pregnant because.. well we've been ttc for two years so it's fairly unlikely really. but...

I have horrendous hayfever. And even though I'm sure I can't be pregnant, I'm still reluctant to take anything for it apart from my beckenays spray. Last night I was sneezing and dh got annoyed and said "fgs go and do a pregnancy test so you can get a negative and then you can take something for your hayfever". I pointed out that I don't have any tests and that although I know it's unlikely, there's still a possibility, after all we did conceive ds - no? to which he replied "well you're not pregnant". Is he psychic? or could it just be that he's beating himself up about this? he does feel that he's responsible for the fact we can't have another baby, but I've never held it against him - after all these things happen.

are your dh's sympathetic when you're late? or are they fed up of this as well now?

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scorpio1 · 04/06/2007 09:33

my dp gets a bit fed up and doesnt really get involved until we see the line; then he is brilliant

i think for men, they often need the evidence, not a maybe.whereas we women love maybes! or i do anyway

he isnt being mean. maybe exasperated, upset, even angry that it hasnt happened yet. could you maybe do a test in secret? tesco do 2 for under £4. then you would know about your hayfever stuff, and wouldnt have to stress your dp further. i always test in secret becuase dp doesnt believe in testing until at least a week late and if it is +, i just show him. try it?

don't get upset its just men!

wannaBe · 04/06/2007 10:09

sadly I can't do a test in secret as I can't see so have to rely on him to read the test.

I know he's not being deliberately mean really. I do think he beats himself up about this terribly which is very sad. Although i am sad it hasn't happened we do have one ds who is 4.5, and I am a great believer that one should be grateful for the things we do have rather than feeling sad for the things we don't/can't have. There are people out there who can't have any children, at least I have one . My dh isn't quite as filosophical about it though which is maybe why he's more frustrated than i am.

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fryalot · 04/06/2007 10:12

could you do a test and take it to the chemist for them to read?

When we were ttc-ing dd2 and ds, he was always very impatient about tests, and he would rather have believed us NOT to be expecting, than to believe we WERE and be disappointed by a negative result.

If there is any way you can do the test without him, do so, then if it is positive, do another with him so he can read the result. If negative, don't bother with the second test, and get yourself some hayfever medicine.

scorpio1 · 04/06/2007 10:34

chemists actually do testing for you for free, dont some of them, anyway? maybe try that.

you do sound quite upbeat though

Good Luck

wannaBe · 04/06/2007 13:43

yes we have a lloyds up the road who will do testing - costs about 6 quid I think. Its cold here today so polun count seems to be down somewhat on yesterday so maybe will leave it for a few more days - it's sometimes so hard to fight the compulsion to test isn't it?

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lulumama · 04/06/2007 13:45

chemist will test for you

maybe DH is scared to be excited, or hopeful as you have been TTC for a long time

good luck !

nh101 · 04/06/2007 13:51

Wannabe, you have a great attitude. My sister has a partner with low sperm count and they conceived after two years. So there is hope for you yet!

I am sure your DH just doesn't want you getting your hopes up and then for you to think it is all his fault you are not PG.

Good luck!

coggy · 04/06/2007 16:47

wannaBe.......I am currently on CD32 of a fairly regular 27/28 day cycle.
I have had bad AF cramps for the past week and keep expecting it anytime.
My DH keeps asking if anything has happened yet......I think he is more excited/desperate than me but I tend not to tell him that I have done tests...I always feel rather foolish after so many BFNs.

He doesn't mention it every month but does if he feels like AF should have arrive IYSWIM especially since starting the IUI.

I have told him this month that he must be barmy expecting anything!!!
I had no follicles which means no eggs....no treatment....no ovultation pain....so just forget it!

Why did I then have to go and do an hpt this morning just to check myself??!!!

(Negative of course....how could it not be???!!!)

Sorry...slightly going off the subject but I didn't really want to say that my AF was late as I knew that I would get my hopes up if other people commented.
Now I can't because a BFN at CD32 AND the knowldge that I had no eggs or OV should finally help me get a grip of myself this month!!!!!!

I think about you often you know.
X

wannaBe · 04/06/2007 20:45

oh coggy (((hugs))) I think about you too you know and have told my dh all about you . sorry to hear it didn't work out this month, must be frustrating esp with the af cramps.

have procured a test ... will do it ... tonight perhaps. if only to bring on af - testing seems to do that somehow .

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Juicylucytoo · 04/06/2007 21:05

Hi Wannabe, DH was always excited that I was possibly pg and I was always the pessimist.

I would always avoid telling him if I was late TBH, so he didn't get excited, as I was always sure that I wasn't pg. I only told him once I'd tested.

Have you tested yet?

Crossing fingers for you.xx

fryalot · 04/06/2007 21:07

fingers crossed here, too, wannabe

whomovedmychocolate · 04/06/2007 21:10

GPs do it for free too - and the GPs nurse will also be able to do one for you.

I was once asked to read one out in a public loo for a lady who was really nervous and 'couldn't look'. It was positive and I was so happy for her because she'd been trying for ages.

Good luck for you.

wannaBe · 04/06/2007 21:12

not tested yet, don't need to go yet lol.

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wannaBe · 04/06/2007 21:13

besides it will be bfn so def not syking myself up for that.

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fryalot · 04/06/2007 21:13

well have a bloody drink of water, woman!

whomovedmychocolate · 04/06/2007 21:14

Visualise the stream, tinkling over the rocks, the drip, drip, drip of the rain falling from the guttering, the woosh of the water flowing into the sink.

Have a cup of tea.

fryalot · 04/06/2007 21:14
wannaBe · 04/06/2007 21:15

lol.

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whomovedmychocolate · 04/06/2007 21:15

Oh god, I've just wrecked the planet with the extra flushes all across MN!

whomovedmychocolate · 04/06/2007 21:16

Run a tap or something while you are in there. I find that having my DH in one and my MiL in the other always makes me want to go.

wannaBe · 04/06/2007 21:19

no no taps. am on a water meter.

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whomovedmychocolate · 04/06/2007 21:20

Just a little drip. Which reminds me - I got pregnant after acupuncture. I just needed a little prick

Juicylucytoo · 04/06/2007 21:23

Are you going to keep us in suspense Wannabe??

Can't you pour one glass into another, back and forth??

I'm going to need to go and I only went 20 minutes ago

whomovedmychocolate · 04/06/2007 21:25

Lucy is so juicy she's overflowing!

fryalot · 04/06/2007 21:25

Pmsl