TTC - Feeling quite alone could simply do with some advise or someone to listen

[tryingtokeepmychinup]

This is my first time in any community and it feels quite scary. I am 30 and came off my pill in November last year. When I first came off my pill my DP and I decided to adopt a 'lets see what happens' approach and nothing did. We have been taking it all very seriously for the last three months. None of my friends know I am trying and I cannot tell my parents because I could not handle the pressure. I feel very alone (sorry if that sounds soppy). None of my friends have had problems conceiving and just yesterday a good friend announced she was pregnant after 4 weeks of trying!!. I felt destroyed but acted like it was the best news in the world (sorry if that sounds selfish). Does anyone have any tips? This actually feels good just to write this thread. Thank you in advance to anyone who takes the time to read this.

You do not sound soppy at all. In fact, you sound like me four years ago.

It took 9 months of SERIOUS trying before I fell pregnant with dd1. I couldn't understand why it wasn't happening. I was doing everything I should, apart from the obvious, like eating well, exercising etc.

Looking back 9months isn't that long but I know it feels like a lifetime doesn't it? My bf too, fell pregnant first go. It hurts.

I can't tell you anything you haven't heard before but try not to get too worked up about it.(easier said I know). Stress will affect your fertility. Eat well, exercise and get your sleep in. Take folic acid, if you aren't already and look for Pregnacare supplement in Boots which I took. IT WILL HAPPEN.

Wish you all the very best x

Hi trying

It took 3 and a bit years to pg with my dd. We took the see what happens approach too. Now that I'm ttc #2 I'm seeking help. But that 'help' doesn't have to medical. Come and join us on TTc in June thread here Or if you prefer there is a ttc first baby thread here

Wishing you lots of luck

oh sweety dont worry it will happen if you try for more than 6months go gp, it took me 18months to get pg with my dd she will be 1 in 3days its sooo exciting! my sis got pg straight away we were silly an told everyone we was trying an every time we saw anyone we got soo are we getting baby then! it was frustrating we gave up trying we stopped the folic acid we stopped all ov kits i didnt buy any more pg tests we decided when my next af came we would go back on the pill it was late!
I really feel for you although we told everyone i still felt lonely, We are ttc again we have been on and off for the last year as i want dd to have sibling close in age feel gutted when af comes then my dd starts shouting!
good luck there are hundreds/thousands of women in the same situation good luck in your ttc keep me posted

Hello, if you do a search on the internet the stats for getting pregnant go something like this - 25% in first month, 60% in 6mths and 90% in a year. Thats only rough from what i remembered so dont shout if im wrong ttc is stressful and can be hard (emotionally i mean) im in my first month ttc no. 3 and im already climbing the walls. My last child took 4 months of bd ing every day before i fell pregnant and every month it felt like the end of the world as i to had friends who caught the first month of trying.This site is really helpful and people give some great advice, i havent told anyone apart from my sis that im trying and its a massive releif to be able ot come on here and talk about it. the ttc june threads a good place to start. good luck

Hello, i agree that you are not soppy.. it is hard. I was super careful for ten years not to get pregnant, then we started trying and nothing happened. My sister in law got pregant, and we got "you;ll be next" which was so grating ! We ended up arguing loads and got a bit obbsessed as it was so depressing every month. But, after six months,we got pregnant, and ds is now 10 months and gorgeoous!

My only advice is go to drs and tell them you are trying... someone told me you have to have been trying a set period of time before drs will refer you, so get it on your notes asap just in case.. enjoy trying, and relax, enjoy lots of sex!

we told no one we were trying and that was difficult and have realised since, when talking to fellow mums, that loads of people have the same problem that it takes a while.. perhaps chatting on here with cyber friends will help - i wish i had this network then.

Good luck xx

After the pill your body could take a while to sort itself out and thats ok because you're only 30 so plenty of time available for you!
It is very consuming when you want a baby. I remember that feeling. I also remember feeling very crap because my super fertile friend conceived her fourth when I was desperate for my first!
Had hormone problems too which ended up in my periods stopping so was told I'd have to have 'help' if I wanted children. Felt very inadequate!
So then I went for reflexology every week, accupuncture once a month and saw a healer a couple of times and the week before my appointment with the fertility specialist I fell pregnant! {3 months in total}
Accupuncture is very effective at sorting out hormones I really rate it. And the reflexology boosts the treatment.
Keep your chin up!! x X x

Go on the STILL TTC your first baby thread, (link in tigerschick's post below) it is VERY supportive.

It doesn't sound selfish at all. I know exactly what you mean.

Just logged back on, thank you all:-) I am so happy I discovered this place.

Im going to look into Acupuncture.

I think I may join in with the other threads. It is nice to have the support without the pressure of telling family etc.

Thanks again for all you kind words Im sure you all know how much it means having been in similar situations.

I think the best thing you could have done was find some on-line friends to confide in. It's something that is so, so hard to talk about in real life. We went through this ttc our first child. Took three years, lots of inconclusive tests (we were 'unexplained') and finally several months of fertility drugs and two IUIs before DS1 arrived. Even though I now have two gorgeous boys, I have never forgotten the pain everytime AF arrived and the overwhelming jealousy whenever some announced their pregnancy. I found talking about it to people in a similar situation really helped. They understand when you just want to vent or have a good moan. I hope you find some support here but, if you don't, I can recommend a good forum which is specifically for women who've been TTC six months or longer. Let me know if you're interested. Good luck.

Hi trying,

I heard it's perfectly normal for girl's our age (I am 32 now, was 30 when I had dd) to wait for about 6 - 12 months for a bfp. I keep my fingers, toes and everything crossed for you. I know what you mean about pressure from outside, so just use us to get anything off your chest!!

XX

Hi tryingtokeepmychinup - just wanted to say welcome!

I am TTC my first too, had a MC in January. There are loads of threads to give you support.

Beware though - MN is addictive!

I am a mum of 2 dds (12 and 8)and trying for 3rd. I got pregnant with both DDS within one month.

It is really hard for me too as we are cuurently living abroad. We know our families will be so worried. This is only my second month of ttc. It can be stressful. We will just have wait for the right time to tell them when we feel it is safe to, rather than have them worry so early on. We have made sensible decisions that we are both happy with.

Good communication makes all the difference. Things change and you will know how to deal with it to suit your situation if you can communicate well.

Don't feel isolated, there are many like you.I am looking forward to finding out next month if I am pregnant and dealing with the obsticles as they come along.

Good luck, we are all with you. I am worried too and it helps to read that others are in similar situations.

seconding Bellabear - come and join us on the TTC #1 thread that tigerschick posted . We are all muddling along there and swapping tips. It is hard. At the moment, I am adopting a "wait and see" approach, but i am thinking of getting more scientific now.

There is lots you can do to help that takes very little effort - I found the Zita West book and website quite helpful when you want to move from playing russian roulette to taking a more planned approach. Don't despair and you'll get lots of support and tips. i think we are all conditioned from an early age that if we go within 2 feet of an unsheathed penis we will immediately fall preganant, and it just isn't that easy. I know I expected it to happen first month, just like my BF

It can take a while, not that you'd think that when people fall pregnant at the drop of a hat or even by accident. It has just taken us a year and I don't know what I would have done without the support of other MNers who were ttc too. Please do join some of these threads, they are enormously helpful and very knowledgable. I realise now that what I was doing a year ago wasn't really going to work!!

tryingtokeepmychinup

I can completely understand where you are coming from and feeling.

When we were trying ttc dd everyone was getting pregnant. The final straw for me was when a close freind fell pregnant by accident whilst on the contraception injection. I went completely to pieces my poor DH didn't know what to do (hadn't found mumsnet then).

We had been ttc for 18 months, one good point we found out i was pg a month later.