Positive stories needed please

[Blueskylass]

Bit of a lurker in here for ages and hoping to hear some positive stories/experiences.

Married 2 years and am now 42, had chemical pregnancy in January 2017 and not a sniff of anything since. Tracking ovulation - regular cycles and positive opks every month and we’ve been having loads of good old unprotected sex but yet again no joy and last few months every time I get near to my period I’m convinced this is my month. This month I’m a day late (never happens) and nipples been killing me but negative test again. Costing a fortune!!!

Trying to keep upbeat and positive as when we married we were well aware of age and my attitude was “if it happens we’ll be delighted but no pressure” but now I’m feeling..... pressure! Feel like every month I’m failing my lovely husband and I know now im going to have to seek help which also terrifies me.

Just sharing this on here makes it seem property real. Feel pathetic. Talk to my husband and he’s so keen for us to have a wee one and I’m scared it will never happen and worry he’ll regret being married to me when he could have met someone younger and more fertile. I am starting to feel like he’s been tricked!

I can’t share with any of my friends, they have wee ones and have no idea that I’m struggling to keep a brave face on. Think they just assume I never ever wanted a family, when it just took me til 39 to meet the right guy.

I know there are so many others in the same or in a similar boat and I’m trying not to lose heart. I’ve so much to be thankful for but I can’t help feeling selfish and wishing it was our turn.

Any glimmers of hope much appreciated

Blueskylass x

@blueskylass i didn't want to read and run but i got pregnant twice at 39. One was a chemical and one we lost at 24 weeks (long story short, flu at 7 weeks interupted his blood supply and his brain never recovered and grew normally so we had to have a TFMR as it was so hopeless. Genetically he was perfect). I am back TTC now with my 40th looming 🙈

I think there is a lot of bad press around other ladies trying to get pregnant. That said, do you think it is worth having some tests. At least you will know whether to continue or look into alternative options? Dont give up x

Older not other!!!

Blueskylass my heart goes out to you that you feel like this- please don't think you are 'failing ' your husband. I'm sure he'd never think that way and would hate to think you're feeling this way. You are adding pressure to yourself and apart from anything else it could be him, both of you, or neither of you that are fertile/ less fertile.

Please please talk to him about it. I built up all kinds of pressure in myself and it was only when I finally talked to my husband about it that I really felt a weight off my shoulders and that we're a team trying to achieve this together.

I know it's not much help as I'm younger but at 36 we started trying and I was told I had a 'low egg count' and to come back if nothing happened within 6 months. So after 5 months I got pregnant...but then I miscarried. We waited a while and then started trying again and the 1 year mark passed and we decided we'd give it a few more months and then get help. Suddenly I missed my period, but got a negative test, same again the next day and the next... 17 days later and still no period I bought yet another test and guess what it came up positive!
39suzy I'm so sorry to hear about all you have been through. That is heartbreaking.

I'm sitting here writing this with one hand as my tiny baby that I thought would never come is snoozing in my arms and I'm wishing you both all the very best of luck.

Aw congratulations @2good x