Age gap

[Mrstobe90]

I have a 6 month old DD and we were going to start trying next year for DC2 but have instead decided to txt in September.
So many people have told me that it's easier when they're closer in age as they adapt to a sibling better, it's easy when they're both in similar stages etc etc

My question is, if you have multiple children, what is the age gap and what were the pros and cons of having 2 with that amount of time between each?

*ttc

I have 2 dc's with the age gap of 2 years 3 months. Personally I think 2-3 years is the best age gap because as parents you have still enjoyed your first DCs babyhood and have had plenty of time to enjoy it. When they get to 2/3 they are much less reliant on you, so having a baby as well is easier. (Although still hard at times)

My eldest is 3 and youngest 1, they love playing together but still enjoy doing their own separate things. I can tell they will grow up very close

I think a larger age gap, they will have to much differences and enjoy completely different things, so are less likely to play together. But a positive is that they are probably less likely to fight over things 😁

I think a closer age gap like what you are thinking, it will be great for the siblings (will grow up close and will have the same interests for a while), but will probably more hard for you.

Im expecting my second next Feb and my son will turn 3 the month after. Personally I would have wanted to leave to much longer as it feels like the right mix of watching my son grow up a bit and him being that bit older to understand it a little better. Each to their own though. My sister has a son and a daughter 5 years apart and that's all worked out great x

*wouldn't

18 months between my two.

It's hard when they are young, but not nearly as hard as I thought or as hard as people made out it would be.

Now they are 3 and 4 and aside from the squabbling it's great as they play together all day and are great entertainment for each other. I actually find them easier as a pair than one to one as they are much less demanding on me as a parent when they have each other. Currently pregnant with #3 and will be a 3.5 year age gap between baby and my youngest so that will be a new experience for me!

Also, good luck TTC!

@rainbowsanduniicorns we originally thought that a 2 year gap would be better but I despised pregnancy so much that I kind of want to get it out of the way!

@Yakadee my friend has a 6 year old and is planning to start trying again. Like you, I personally wouldn't want to leave it more than 3 years!

@GreenMeerkat I'm so glad to hear that you didn't find it as hard as people said! I'm not going to lie, I am a bit nervous about the difficulty while they'd both be so young but it will be amazing for my dd to have a best friend

3y10m between my girls. It's perfect.

2y9m between no 1 and 2 this is brilliant. 4y6m between 2 and 3 and though this is great in itself and currently they play really well just now (Kids are 13, 10 and 5 right now) overall the whole age band is a little bigger than I'd have liked. Eldest was 7y3m middle was 4y6m when baby was born so I'm feeling that tricky now they're older. There's not much we all enjoy together- games, films, museums etc. Swimming and cycling perhaps but usually eldest wants to stay at home while I take the other 2 somewhere. So, consider how many children you want in total and what age gap you'll want next time too.
HTH.

I've got three - a 10, 8 and 10 month old. The eldest two were so close growing up and still are now, the eldest helps me massively with the baby so I suppose big age gaps have it's advantages too

Three years is a good age gap.

I've 16 months between my first two. It was hard, especially the first year, but gradually got easier. The best thing has been seeing them grow up so close. They are young adults now & still best friends.

It sounds like each age gap as it's advantages and disadvantages. My husband doesn't want anymore children after the second so this would be our last time ttc.

I'm completely in 2 minds about it right now. I keep going back and forth.

If I concieve this cycle there will be 3 years 5 months between mine. I'm so hoping I get my bfp soon because I really don't want them to be anymore than 3 school years apart. I think 3 years would be ideal because DD is already a brilliant sleeper (would sleep through a world war) and is good at communicating what she wants now, only thing left to tackle is potty training, and getting her into playgroup at least a few mornings a week then I am 100% ready for a new baby. I know for the first few years they might not be buddies and want to play together but I feel by the time I've got say an 8 year old and an 11 year old they'll start sharing more similar interests, and as they get into adulthood they should hopefully be great friends. I grew up with two siblings with big age gaps and we never had that friendly relationship, more the elder ones mothered the younger ones, and although I wouldn't have changed it for the world there were definitely times I longed for a playmate.

I feel if I left it any later my children would have a similar relationship to what I had with my siblings. Any sooner and we just wouldn't have been ready, I've been back at work part time for a year and half now and I'm glad I've had that time to be me and not just mum, I couldn't have done 2 consecutive years of mat leave or I'd have gone insane! And I'm glad I've had plenty of time just to enjoy having DD on her own. Here's hoping I get my BFP soon because I am so ready now!

@Momma22 I've got my fingers and toes crossed for you! 😊