It is never going to happen

[chevre]

Hi, been ttc no. 2 for 18 months. I am really losing hope, we have a referral at the end of july but already know dh's sperm are below par. I really want a sibling for dd and I really want to hold and feed another baby. I know there are no easy answers just need to vent.

Don't give up hope, chevre.
The referral may have some suggestions that will help.

thanks, [watery smile while blowing nose emoticon]

The referral will help you both, im sure.

please don't give up, there are lots of ways to help you conceive. rant as much as you like!

There are many success stories, please don't give up hope, i've been trying for number1 about the same amount of time, i know its hard but try to keep faith that good things will happen, it just may take a while thats all, good luck x

Its hard, every single mother i met when i had dd has had no2 and some are thinking about no3 I feel really inadequate. moan moan moan. good luck to you too 1wish.

don't feel inadequate - feel that your baby will be extra special BECAUSE of what you have been through to get him/her.

i know what you mean though - today i saw a sort of friend who is 35wks again - her youngest is 14 months, eldest 4yrs - i just feel a bit at that, even though i have 2dc myself. ive only been ttc for nearly 4 months though.

it will happen , you are being proactive.

Chevre
Totally understand - we been trying for 3 years now for no 2. Finally been referred and seeing specialist in June. Sperm count has improved for dh and I am cutting out wheat. I don;t get so upset now but know that it is a nightmare! All the best

I go through months where it is ok and I concentrate on other stuff but it creeps up on me.
Sarochka did your dh do anything to improve his sperm? 3 years is tough I hope the referral works out for you. How old is your first?

well thats the thing we have been 'trying' [grim sex face emoticon!] for 18 months but have used any contraception since dd and she is 3 and 1/2. ho hum. thanks for the encouragement and glad things worked out for you fiofio.

Chevre
He's stopped having baths ( showers instead), well man vitamins and also cut down the drink.
Do all the right stuff but am a bit of a stress head so wondered if that the prob!! Also am 36 now. DD 5. Best of luck!

Chevre

I think low sperm count can be improved. Zinc and vit C (spike his drinks with it), underwear that doesn't get him hot, and from what my consultant told us, alcohol has a really bad affect. Also not too much sex (ie he needs a rest to build up the sperm) but not too infrequently as sperm has a shelf life.

Best of luck. Like Fio Fio took me 3.5 years to conceive and I struggled with hope too.

But I hope all the best for you.

Chevre,
I'm in your boat too and it isn't an easy one! TTC No 2 for nearly 18 months and desperate to have a sibling for dd (3). Have miserable visions of her growing up sad and lonely (to all the only children out there, I know this is mad and hysterical )and dh and I getting so desperate and arguing and breaking up. Told you it was getting out of hand . More rationally I do think it will happen eventually, the question is when. I think we just need to keep the faith and not panic. Easier said than done

Chevre it always breaks my heart when i read threads like these,as it takes me back to all the times i felt so angry and lonely that iwas struggling to concieve 2 and a half yrs later we have ds nearly 6 mths old.I had a referrel and there proved to be nothing wrong had hsg to check tubes (and that is supposed to improve your chances) sadly not for me,reflexology and zinc for dh and not focussing on it too much(i know easier said than done)been there done that got the sweatshirt and the t shirt,it was only when i gave up it happened just wanted to share my story with you and support you as i felt like you do and i wouldnt want to see anyone go through it alone ((((((((((hugs))))))))

Thanks everyone. Feeling a wee bit better today. Good to hear a positive story d&s.

Iwillbepositive - good name! you are not hysterical i feel the same way. Dd stands and stares at families with lots of kids and talks about babiesetc all the time. I do think the most important thing is concentrating on what I do have which is dh and dd. Been through the pointless arguing etc. I took a ttc break for a couple of months before christmas and that helped get my head straight againg.

I will get getting the man vitamins for dh. alchol is a tricky one we are not alchos but do enjoy wine etc. When you have been trying for so long the abstaining from wine coffee etc just seems to rub your nose in the misery.

sarochka
I feel your pain, we just hit the one year mark and I am turning 39 in one month, how sad is that. He is changing jobs and insurance so can't do IUI or IVF yet, his sperm count is crap to put it lightly. I am spiking his meals and drink with zinc, selenium, vit c, vit 3, l-arginine, and l-carnitine which I heard can be very successful, we'll see! With every period I am even more depressed and cry as I'm getting older, it's freaking me out! My fsh is 6.3 and everything seems to be ok with me, had ultrasound and everything, temping, everything ok here, just trying to boost the little swimmers of his! My first hubby had super duper low count and they said there would be no way and 7 months later I conceived so I know that the count can change with enough work, so let's try together! We were on vacation when I started my last period and I just cried for two days, we had a 11 hour flight next to two 5 month old babies, is that torture or what, then connecting flight had twins on it! Shoot me now!! Lets try giving our dh these vitamens on a daily basis and see if we can't get bfp before summers over!!!! I just starting making dh take them last week.

I read in the Sunday Times the other week an article by a fertility person. apparently the more testosterone the better. She said men get their mistresses 'up the duff' easier than their wives because of the EXCITEMENT and RAW PASSION!!!!!
So get your best fantasy head on and make him QUIVER... !!!!!!!!

oh can totally sympathise. we've been ttc no 2 now for just over two years and for me I genuinely believe that it is not going to happen for us. Dh took vitamins for his low sperm count but sadly reacted badly to them. sperm is a very tricky thing and is still one of the things in fertility that is little understood.

We've decided not to go down the IVF route as it's expensive and there are no guarantees.

I'm not going to patronise you and say that it will happen, but I do believe that things happen for a reason and that what will be will be. I have a beautiful ds and I feel it is more important to be happy with the things that I do have rather than sad for the things I don't/can't have.

If it is meant to be, then it will be .

wannabe:

What about intrauterine insemination, it's not that expensive and my friend did it and it was successful the second time? Don't give up!

I believe that with low sperm count IUI isn't an option?

hi, i thought with iui they could 'clean' the sperm to make sure you only get the good guys!

i know what will be will be but try telling me that on days 23 + when i am wildly doing pregnancy tests and generally behaving like a nutter!

think it depends on the count. eg if you have ivf with a low sperm count they can do icsi (sp?) where they inject one sperm into the egg, but with IUI although they do do some sperm washing I imagine there has to be a decent amount there to wash iykwim.