IVF

[Christmastree0123]

Hi Ladies, Im still only new to this page (10min new actually) but I have recently just found out I will need to go down the IVF road for my future pregnancys. Heres the thing, thats not the problem. I have done my research and if that is what needs to happen then it will happen, however the one thing I just cant shake is that everyone around me and everyone who knows me will know that we have done IVF and i feel like there is a lot of judgement that comes with that (im only very young and i want to be a young mum). Knowing that people are aware you have / are consciously trying to conceive opens a lot of door for them to feel very comfortable to judge you and to let you know what they think. I know I should not worry because... well f**k them, but I have always seen myself having a "happy accident" and now things wont be like that. What if some people think we are not financially stable enough or to young etc. I just want my pregnancy journey to be positive and full of love, not judgement and gossip. Let me know your stories. (Side note) the reason we have to go through IVF is my partner has CF and therefore can not conceive naturally

Everyone knows I've had ivf because I got to the point where I really really don't give a shit what they think. And I was desperate... and sad and in pain to the point I just couldn't hide it.

It honestly isn't that big a deal. It is far more responsible to plan your family than to have 'happy accidents' and shows maturity in and of itself.

And honestly, you're doing this because you have to - it's not a choice. A lot of people need educating that ivf is the only option for many people.

Actually I was just reminded - a nurse in the recovery area was asked to leave because she was loudly talking about how she didn't believe in ivf and disagreed with women waiting to have kids and then needing ivf... etc... so ignorance is everywhere!! This was as I was waiting for egg collection...

I started ttc just after my 32nd bday - so not ancient!!!

I have just conceived my first though IVF. I am much older but not because I chose to wait. I worked really hard to find the right partner since my 20s and just didn't find the right person until I was 38. I used to say to people "come walk around in my life and tell me which of these people I should have settled down with". I just didn't meet the right person and yes then I needed help. It's no one's business to judge.

Incidentally I worry just as much as it sounds you do about being judged for being an old mum! I feel people must be raising their eyebrows and I'm a bit (minorly) worries that none of the other Mum's will want to be friends!!!

So into the IVF. It's a funny one because people have a different view of it from the outside. It does seem extreme until you start and then it seems fine. But ultimately once you get pregnant you won't really give a shit. You will just be so happy (and nauseous and anxious and all the other things that take up your brain power) And when people know you are pregnant I don't think anyone will ask how you conceived so if you don't want to say, you won't have to.

I think this is a very small phase in hopefully a long life as Mums and it will one day seem so distant and irrelevant that a few Drs helped us have our babies.

Good luck xxx

Oh and some good advice I had before I started was not to tell too many people. Obviously tell people you want to support you but it is a long process and sometimes takes a few goes and you won't want people constantly asking how it is going xxx