I never thought I'd be posting here. I had my first at 28, second at 30 and for years thought that was it. That I was done. But I turn 39 in August - I have a ten year old and an 8 year old - and suddenly, more than anything else in the world I want another baby - another child. It's hit me a bit like a tonne of bricks. My head is telling me not to be stupid - for all the practical reasons. But my heart has other ideas. I've put it to DH (dear husband) because I couldn't keep it inside anymore and first he said he wouldn't have an issue if we found out I was pregnant and it would be fine - when I suggested that we actively try for a third - he said it's not a 'no' but that he needs to think about it. Since he said that, I've felt so sick - like I'm waiting for the results of an exam that's going to change my whole life. I don't think Iv'e wanted anything quite so much. I think when my DS (dear son) was born and my DD (dear daughter) was 22 months old, I wished it all away. It was so bloody hard - I don't think I ever appreciated that everything I was doing was a 'last'. Does that make sense? Now we're in a great place - financially very secure - we only have a 3 bed home and would ideally like to stay here but we could move or follow through on our plans to put a garden room in. I work from home running my own business and work about 4-5 hours a day MAX. For every negative reason, I have two positives. I was very lucky to fall pregnant quickly with the other two - did have bleeding with both in the first 12 weeks so they were anxious times but both were healthy c-section babies. I can't keep feeling this anxious waiting for DH (dear husband) to make his mind up - if we're going to do this I want to do it now because I'm not getting younger and who knows how long it will take - especially as I've never had regular cycles. I keep going back to the fact that he says he'd be fine with an accident (we're not using contraception just control and willpower at the mo) so I think for him the idea of actively deciding to change your life is the big thing. ARGH - I'm so frustrated my stomach has been in knots for days.