TTC after 3 MMC this year - any advice?

[CurlyTwirlyTwos]

Hello,

As title says, I’ve had a terrible year so far maintaining a pregnancy.

For anyone reading this, who has experienced similar - I am so sorry. It is a heartbreaking, shit position to be in. I didn’t fully realise the pain of recurring miscarriage until I have experienced it myself. This is a bit of a long post, but thought it better to share the full story:

January: Missed miscarriage 7 weeks. I had misoprostol for medical management

1 period

March: Pregnant, but mmc/chem preg at 5 weeks

No period.

May: Pregnant again! Strong symptoms, I felt positive this time. Early private scan at 8 weeks for reassurance, sadly showing, abnormal heartbeat and measuring only 5-6 weeks. After 3 weeks of ‘waiting and seeing’ with EPAU, without much hope - I had a MVA 2 weeks ago.

What next for me? I have 3 year old DD, so my epau says we won’t get any help with conceiving. We can have tests to see if there is anything specific. As far as they are can see from my scans everything looks ‘normal’. They think we’ve just had terrible luck.

The sensible part of me rationalises that I should wait 6 months or and live ‘normally’ and give my mind and body a break from the hormones and being so ‘up and down’. I’m emotionally exhausted, and only had one genuine period since January.

The other part wants to desperately crack on and give my DD a sibling. I didn’t think or plan on having a large age gap, I’m also 35 and cannot help starting to wonder whether it’s my age playing a factor. My DH 34. It sounds silly - but I’ve let them both down.

I don’t know whether I can face more heartbreak, especially if another was to go wrong. I don’t even think I want to face another pregnancy test (I still need to take one to see whether negative).

If it goes wrong again, I’ll seriously consider packing it in altogether. Perhaps it’s just not meant to be? I’m terrified this might be the case.

How should I approach ttcing? Are there any ladies out there who have also suffered from recurring miscarriage who have any advice, stories or don’t mind handholding a fragile woman?

If you are still reading this - thank you for getting to the end!

You should be offered tests for recurrent miscarriage, regardless of having a chillis already or not. There's a whole slew of mostly blood tests they do for all sorts of things. It can take a few months for the referral and you can't be pregnant during those tests. So get yourself to a sympathetic gp and consider taking a rest until after the referral.

I'm so sorry for what you've been through. Be kind to yourself.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3145684-TTC-after-recurrent-miscarriage-thread-2-were-not-giving-up

Come and join us on here!

Thank you @AnneLovesGilbert - always daunting joining a new (well established) thread!

I’m not sure I’m ready to be actively ttcing yet. I’ve been there so many times this year already, I don’t know whether I can do it again (only to fail).

Even though I want to.

I’m in a headfuck.

BUT, I’ll come along and join, you are right - probably ladies like me on there for support.

Thank you for sharing the link!

It's a teeny tiny group and very relaxed. Some not actively ttc for various reasons, some really going for it, some a little bit pregnant and too nervous to try any other threads

Totally up to you but you'll find lots of support and help on tests and experiences and that sort of thing. Pop in and say hi if you feel like it. You're as welcome to rant about not wanting to ttc again for a bit because, let's be honest, when you're doing it after a bunch of traumatising losses most of the joy has gone anyway and it feels like a load of fucking hassle!

I'm so so sorry for what you've been through, I genuinely empathise We're on a pretty shockingly unlucky road ourselves right now and I hear you. I've had all the RMC tests so might be able to help on that.