Wanting to Conceive after a termination!?

[StayingUnknown]

Hello All,
As i'm sure you can all tell i have only just joined mumsnet and i'm abit worried about how people are going to react to my question. please only serious answers.

So just 3 weeks ago i terminated a pregnancy at 6 weeks. from the moment i did it i wished i could take it back but i was pressured into the abortion by my boyfriends mother. We are both 21 and are living at home. we both work and are trying to save to move out. This termination has been killing me as i have always been against abortion myself and now i feel like I've killed not just my child but a piece of me.

Now i know this is horrible but i really want to try and get pregnant again. i know i made a mistake and i know i cant fix it but i just really want a second chance. the only thing is i'm afraid to tell my boyfriend how i feel. i don't know how he would react but i know he wouldn't want a child at least till we have both moved out of our family homes i just don't know if i can wait that long. i just can help how i feel. would really appreciate some advice. thanks.

Honestly I would give yourself time to grieve. You've made a decision you regret, but getting pregnant again isn't going to help. You'll be in exactly the same position you were a few weeks ago. Why don't you give yourself time to do something you really want to do. Do you work? Do you want to go travelling? Do you want to a buy a house with your partner. It's always good to have support when you have a baby (not that that's always avaliable). I really struggled at times when my own dc were babies as my family weren't close by. If you partners mum isn't on board and you live with them it's going to be difficult? Just think seriously about what you want. It's horrible thing you've been through, especially if you feel forced.

Sorry I've just seen you said you both work and are saving to buy a house. Why not wait until you're in a better position then.

I'm sorry you're going through this and no one should be pressured into having an abortion.
I understand how you might feel getting pregnant will make things better but I think you need to give yourself time to properly grieve and come to terms with the loss before you try again.
You really need to talk to your bf as well as he has a say too and you can't force him to have a child if he isn't ready.

Personally I believe you should be in a committed relationship and financially able to provide for a child before ttc so have a think about if you are ready in that regard too.

Good luck with everything x

I had a termination and felt very much the same as you. I was so troubled by it that I had counselling. The counsellor helped me realise I didn't want a baby but I wanted the baby I'd terminated, which of course is not possible. Realising that really helped me as then I stopped feeling I needed to be pregnant again right away. I hope you come to peace with your decision and be kind to yourself. Time really is a healer x

Thank you for all your messages, i just don't know how to bring the subject up to him. I'm scared he wont feel the same.