9dpo and freaking out

[SideEyeing]

Hi there,
I'm pretty sure I'm 9 or 10 dpo. Feel very uncertain about being pregnant at this point for various reasons and have not been actively trying though had been earlier this year. However, last night had a very vivid dream about a positive test and for some reason felt compelled to use an IC. Got this which I've never had before with a negative (please ignore the dirty surface, was testing in our ratty side bathroom that's undergoing building work!)
Am I going insane or does it look like I may have to have a hard think in the near future?
I know I need to test again in a few days with a frer.. just looking for honest opinions on this sort of squinter really.

Hello. I can see a hint of a line, but I've had this before with internet cheapies and it hasn't unfortunately come to anything. As you say, I would test again in a few days.

Thanks for the speedy response. Just seen a tesr further down this forum from someone else at 9dpo which I thought looked similar and their frer came up positive.. argh. I desperately want a baby (mc in November) but life is REALLY hectic at the moment, finances not great and newly engaged. Tempted to just block it out until say, Sunday and test then.. I just don't know if I can face the terror again

@SideEyeing I'm sorry you've been through a miscarriage. I can see a faint line too. Don't panic though, test again on the weekend and you'll have a definitive answer either way. Congratulations on the upcoming nuptials by the way.

Thank you @HidCat. Just done another one - sams thing (also realised it's not just my filthy builder bathroom - all my surfaces are, on a camera level, embarassing). My head is absolutely shot right now. I need to wait until Sunday or until I miss AF and rethink then or I'm going to go insane. Blergh.

*same thing, not sams thing. Can't stop crying though a few months ago I'd have been overjoyed. Fucksake

I'm 9DPO and got the faintest squinter of a line on a cheapie this morning, but a strong positive on a First Response test! I'd try one of them x

I can see a line and I never normally see the faint lines x

Cheers again guys.. @cobaltrose I think it was your post I saw - almost identical in terms of test brand and dpo (and line!)
DH2B (DF? Though that sounds like father!) has been really supportive .. we are both aware the timing sucks. If everything goes as planned we'd be getting married with a five month old.. I think the mc is playing a large part in my lack of being thrilled. The thought of being scared for nine months, of how I've drunk fairly heavily recently, having only just started a new job, our finances not being great.. what is wrong with me?!

@SideEyeing you have a healthy respect for what parenthood entails. Just remember that you have everything you need to make it work. It's ok to be scared and please give yourself some slack for the drinking. Apparently they don't take much from us until the placenta forms at about 6weeks so nothing to worry about.

Thanks again @HidCat, really appreciate that you've taken the time to write back to me. I'm going to give myself until the weekend or even Tues/Weds when AF should definitely have come (cycles can be between 26-31 days) and retest. Until then, try and keep healthy and not think about it too much. Easier said than done. I know there's never a 'perfect' time. Having a massively interfering (though loving) family who will be v. concerned about our finances (and a very lovely but very involved future family-in-law) doesn't help the pressure. A lot of family events coming up soon too, and I'm not known for turning down the wine. Or gin. Ergh!

Hm. Looks like I am. Albeit very, very early. Don't know what the hell to do.

@SideEyeing Definitely! Don't rush into anything and speak to your fiancé about it too. You'll be fine.

I see a line!